December, 2014 | Jason Around the World

Washington to Beirut, Lebanon with United and Lufthansa

Airports, Business Class, Israel, Lebanon, South Pacific Tour 2014 6 Responses »

Dec 302014

Soooo catching up. I landed from Israel (via Zurich and Newark) on Tuesday late afternoon. My productivity in the next 48 hours would be stunning. Two days of work. Several loads of laundry. Two hockey games (won both – woooo). Oh, and I had to plan the last part of this trip. Yes, this trip was so complex (five weeks in the south pacific, nearly a week in israel, then a few days in Lebanon) that I hadn’t even thought what I would do with my approximately 48 hours in Lebanon. Planning accomplished. It was exhausting 48 hours, but the end was in sight!

I had tried hard to stay on European/Middle Eastern time my 48 hours in DC, but 10pm hockey games have a way of derailing that. Especially since that means 12:30 to bed best case. However, I made a point to get up both days at 5am. My theory was better to run on less less than to be at a point where I would be groggy until early afternoon once I got to my destination. So, up at 5am, work from 6-3, and I was off to Dulles. I absolutely love the new Silver Line and how easy it makes it to do a straight shot from downtown DC to Dulles in 45 minutes plus a 15 minute bus ride.

Pre-check was a breeze, and soon I was enjoying a glass of Château le Jeff and some delicious Tillamook cheese in the United club with my favourite bartenders.

So, why Amsterdam? It’s a fair question. First, it was the only routing where an upgrade would confirm with a systemwide upgrade at the time of booking. Secondly, the 18:30 departure gave me an extra hour over the other options. Third, it also meant I wouldn’t be sitting in Frankfurt for 6+ hours between flights. Oh, and fourth, I’d never flown the IAD-AMS route in all my years with United. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Time to board!

United flight 946
Washington DC, Dulles (IAD) to Amsterdam, Netherlands (AMS)
Depart 18:30, Arrive 8:05 next morning, Flight Time 7:35
Boeing 767-300, Registration N647UA, Manufactured 1992, Seat 7H

Boarded, and had a really weird feeling….oh yeah, it’s seat 7H, the same seat I was in 48 hours prior flying from Zurich to Newark. Hahah, at least I knew what to expect in theory.

So, what’s for teh nomz tonight?

Expectations were low after the flight a couple of days ago, and hey, things couldn’t get any worse. When my flight attendant saw this:

…at least a refill was offered. Refills on PDBs are always welcome – and a pleasant surprise when they happen. My seatmate was an interesting fellow who I chatted with for about five minutes during boarding, he was impressed with the approximately 50 words of Dutch I speak, and then we minded our own business for the rest of the flight. Can’t complain there!

Once in the air, service was quick, and it was time for more Château le Jeff and some split cashew parts:

Now, I give United a hard time for this all the time, thinking how much can this really save to serve cashew pieces instead of whole cashews. Then, a few days ago, I was visiting the fam in Minnesota over Christmas, and finally found the perfect comparison:

Yes, you see that right, Cashew Halves and Pieces are $3.50 a pound and Whole Cashews are $6.65 a pound. So, United is saving at least $3.15 a pound on Cashews. In fairness, Fleet Farm is a discount farm supply store and has pretty low nut prices in general, but I imagine in bulk United saves even more. So, at a minimum of $3.15 a pound in savings, lets assume they serve only two pounds per flight ($6.30) and they have approximately 250 flights a day with nut service ($1985) and 365 days a year that’s over $724,000. Wow, that’s not peanuts!

(See what I did there? Peanuts? Cashews)

Anyways, tastes the same, savings are real, blah blah, moving on…the salad was tasty, but yet another embarrassing appetizer. Seriously United, these are terrible…it can’t be that much more expensive to notch it up just a little. One little slice of tuna. Sheesh. What does that cost United, maybe a dollar? Give me a freaking McDonalds Cheeseburger, it’s the same price and I’d like it more!

The short rib, however, was quite tasty, and worthy of finishing. I never get it…the vegetables on United are almost always pretty good, but that’s it. Who knows!

Cheese plate #1 of 2. Seconds requested, and happily provided. This crew was a huge contrast to my Zurich-Newark crew 48 hours prior. They were cheerful, helpful, kept the refills flowing and gave a genuinely nice atmosphere. It really does prove that the crew can make all the difference.

Tonight’s sundae choice was “hot fudge and cherries.” The cherry count was a less than generous two. 😉

Landed in Amsterdam about 10 minutes early on the Polderbaan and after a 20+ minute taxi we were at the terminal. I had to enter the Schengen Area to fly to Germany anyways, so I figured I’d clear immigration and get Starbucks, forgetting that there was now a Starbucks in the departures area. Oh well! Gave me a chance to pass by the excellent airline/airplane memorabilia store:

After Starbucks I went back through security, spent a little time in the lounge, and then it was finally time for my flight to Frankfurt.

Lufthansa flight 989
Amsterdam, Netherlands (AMS) to Frankfurt, Germany (FRA)
Depart 10:50, Arrive 12:00, Flight Time 1:10
Airbus A320, Registration D-AIZS, Manufactured 2013, Seat 12C

Not much to say. Beverage service (had a Coke Light) and a small sandwich offered (which I skipped – sketchy airline sandwiches after the South Pacific just scare me) and we landed about 15 minutes behind schedule in Frankfurt due to late arrival of aircraft.

Of course, I had a hike from the A to B gates in Frankfurt PLUS passport control to contend with. Most of the folks in the queue looked “non-German” so I decided to use my decidedly awful German as an excuse to go past them and telling them I was in a hurry. Figuring they wouldn’t understand…and thinking they’d think I was saying something important…worked and saved me 10 plus minutes…then I got to the gate and…30 minute delay “for operational reasons.” LOL, ugh.

So, went up to the counter, and asked about the possiblility of an upgrade with a United Global Upgrade Cert. I knew the cabin was empty based on seatmap (they had 36 seats, only 4 showing taken on seatmap 15 min before departure) and the agent confirmed this. But here’s where things got really, really weird.

“I am so sorry, this flight is one of a select few flights moved to our new computer system as a pilot and only electronic upgrades are available. We did inform United of this.” So wait, you told United a few pilot flights would be in a new system with new upgrade procedures, and you update them in advance which ones those will be so they can do electronic instead of paper upgrades? I’m not buying this bro. Supervisor please.

Supervisor arrived, shifted from foot to foot uncomfortable, but stuck to the party line that United should have known better. Um, dude, no, I’m not buying it. You really think the communication between Star Alliance computer systems is that seamless? This is the partnership that has relied on paper certificates until 2014. Not. Buying. It. He insisted. So, I went for the Hail Mary.

“Fine, if the computer won’t let you do it with the paper certificate, maybe you can give an operational upgrade for operational reasons.” Nope…”only if the flight is oversold. If I press that button without oversell I can lose my job.” Ah German logic. Ugh. Coach it is for me.

Lufthansa flight 1306
Frankfurt, Germany (FRA) to Beirut, Lebanon (BEY)
Depart 13:05, Arrive 17:55, Flight Time 3:50
Airbus A321, Registration D-AISP, Manufactured 2009, Seat 26C

So, fortunately the middle seat next to me was empty, and I had a few extra inches of legroom thanks to the exit row. So what was worse than business? Well, business was empty so I would have had a whole row. More crew attention, and maybe a slightly better meal. Other than that, this flight wasn’t too bad. Yes, this is an economy meal:

Landed right on time, and made a beeline for immigration, where things got really strange, really fast. Waited about five minutes for an officer, and the exchange went something like this:

Him: “Why are you coming to Lebanon?”

Me: “Tourism”

Him: “How long are you staying?”

Me: “Four Days”

Him: “What will you see?”

Me: “Baalbek, Byblos, Beirut nightlife.”

Him: “Ok, you ever been to Palestine?” I hadn’t expected the question to be so blatant, and certainly wasn’t going to admit I was there three days ago AND came back to the US in between, lol, I don’t think the concept of mileage runs would have played well.

Me: “No I haven’t”

Him: “How about Israel?”

Me: “No, never.”

Him: (looking at me) “I don’t believe you. You have lots of stamps. Who you work for? CIA? Mossad?”

At this point, I pretty much considered soiling myself, lol. Agent left the counter, and escorted me to a side room where I waited for about 20-30 minutes. I started going through my phone deleting photo albums, removing all evidence of travel to Israel, etc. After about 20-30 minutes an agent came in and continued. Same basic questions…why was I here, what was I doing, etc.

Then, we got down to “where do you work.” I showed him business cards, showed him other evidence, offered to show him access to work e-mail on my phone….he seemed annoyed. I got the impression he was annoyed at a trigger-happy initial investigator….he called my hotel to verify I had a reservation…and that was good. He actually apologized for the inconvenience, and told me to enjoy Lebanon.

Two hours later, it was time to leave the airport and start the last leg of the adventure!

Zurich to Washington in United business

Airports, Business Class, Flights, South Pacific Tour 2014, Switzerland 2 Responses »

Dec 232014

Thankfully, and this might be the only time I say this, my room at the Sheraton was nice and warm, because I woke up with a full-blown cold and it felt quite nice cuddled into the comforter. Unfortunately, that made it harder to get going in the morning. I really enjoyed this hotel, and definitely want to go back and spend a bit longer there, especially when not sick.

Walked the 10+ minutes to the train in the freezing cold, sniffling the whole way, and had an effortless trip to the airport. I remember being on the platform and thinking…I want to move here. Things just work so well in Switzerland, and every time I’m there I’m in a good mood. Random thoughts for the day…

Got to the airport, and let’s be honest, important first stop this early in the morning: Starbucks. The one thing I can do flawlessly in German in order Starbucks…but she insisted on speaking English back to me. Silly accents…especially because she clearly wasn’t a native German speaker either. So, I retaliated…in French. It’s an official language after all 😉 It was a fun exchange, I got caffeine, and all was right with the world.

Oh, speaking of, I noted down the price…The Economist always publishes their Big Mac index, so I’ve started keeping a “Starbucks Index” since it conveys something slightly difference. McDonalds want’s to be a bit of a commodity while Starbucks’ niche in the market I feel is a bit more of a snob appeal. So that said, a grande drip goes for 5,20 francs at the Zurich airport, or $5.30 at current rates, making it the most expensive place to have Starbucks in the world. If anyone would like to contribute to my research project, feel free to send me the price of a grande drip (tax included) along with location and date. Thanks!

Oh…and I had a chocolate muffin, but we don’t need to talk about that. This was my second one of the week (remember, Frankfurt last week on the way back from the South Pacific) and it’s a horrible holiday influence. Oh, that and Christmas Blend Espresso…but on with the important stuff…I don’t really mean half this blog to be about Starbucks…

Security was a complete non-event and then it was off to the SWISS Senator Lounge. I had a bit of work to do, and full of chocolate muffin and caffeine I’m afraid I can’t discuss the food. Seating was plentiful, finding an outlet was easy, and there was plenty of water to hydrate before flying. For some reason the SWISS Senator Lounge feels so much more peaceful than Lufthansa, where it feels like it’s a giant crowded mess first thing in the morning.

On to the gate…

Upon boarding with my mobile boarding pass, I got the beep beep beep, because apparently I had to re-check-in in Zurich and get asked those oh-so-helpful “did you pack your bag?” “has your bag been with you?” “are there any electronics in it?” questions. I’m sorry, but after Israeli security it felt absolutely ridiculous. These agents (not these in particular, but in European airports in general who screen the US-carrier flights to the US) seem like barely-trained rent-a-cops who couldn’t spot a security risk if it jumped up and screamed it. Anyways….by this point most of the flight had boarded, but fortunately I found space for my admittedly-large carry-ons. On with the show!

United flight 993
Zürich, Switzerland (ZRH) to Newark, New Jersey (EWR)
Depart 10:20, Arrive 13:55, Flight Time 9:35
Boeing 767-300, Registration N642UA, Manufactured 1991, Seat 7H

Enjoying a glass of Jeff Perignon as a pre-departure beverage, it was time to explore what was to eat:

My seatmate was rather chatty, but fortunately he was also rather interesting to chat with and after a few minutes of chatting (and drinking…we got refills) went back to his own business. Took off right on time, and it was time to enjoy the delights of United BusinessFirst. First. Hah. Sorry, moving on…

A glass of Château Haut-Jeffrois and some high class split-nuts:

The garlic bread, as always, made up for any shortcomings. United’s insistence on weird fruit-cream dressings continues, but this passionfruit one was actually kind of interesting. That said, give me a creamy parmesan, or peppercorn, or ranch any time. I’m classy like that.

The appetizer? A tiny piece of salmon and one shrimp? Seriously, I’ve seen better seafood selections in a developing country fish market. Just sad. Normally, I would let this go under the category of “you get what you pay for” since the majority of United business class is often upgrades, but since this was a paid business class fare I’m going to let out the full snark.

The tenderloin of beef. The veggies were ok. The beef…well, I’ve eaten lots of business class beef on united over the years, and I’ve come to expect it medium well or so. This poor beef, however, was beyond salvageable. It literally had to be sawed through with the knife, and even that was a Herculean effort. It was so tough it felt like chewing on cardboard. I have low expectations on airline beef, but often choose it because it sounds better than the chicken….and I refuse to touch fish on planes. I’ve seen Airplane one too many times.

I did the unthinkable on United…and rang the flight attendant call button.

Big mistake. After around five minutes a flight attendant finally came by, and her response: “what do you want?” I tried to be as nice as possible, and said “unfortunately this beef isn’t very good…would it be possible to get one of the other meals if there are any left?” Her response? “No. Everything is gone.” and she walked away. Sensing a battle I couldn’t win I admitted defeat. Fortunately, the flight attendant in the other aisle (these are the benefits of sitting in the middle) was generously refilling wine, so I was able to keep a level head and ignore the issue.

At least there was cheese:

I didn’t dare pull my “if there is any left after everyone has had some” question on the cheese with this crew. I appreciated what I got and left it at that.

Today’s sundae was “caramel with cherries” and the cherry count was four. Another datapoint.

Watched a few hours of tv on the iPad, napped a little, blah blah blah, and soon it was snack time.

Seriously…a half of wrap and some rather sad fruit? The wrap looked so lonely I’m pretty sure the crew stole 1/2 of each one and ate it and only gave the passengers half of a wrap…or something like that. It just looks way too awkward on the plate like that. Throw in the same chocolates that have been sitting on the snack cart the entire flight and you have a classy meal.

Landed about five minutes ahead of schedule, turned on my phone and…flight to DC was canceled. Ok, no biggie, I’m sure there are backup options…pull up United.com to look at my reservation…I’d been rebooked for the next day at 6pm. Over 28 hours later. It was raining lightly at Newark, and of course the reason for cancelation was “weather.” Ugh. There was, fortunately, another flight headed to DCA in 50 minutes, but it was overbooked by four people.

Fortunately no problems with Global Entry, security only had about a five minute wait for pre-check, and I made a beeline for the United Club to get added to the standby list. The agent was super efficient and helpful, but of course with my luck, the flight was departing from Terminal A. Ran for the shuttle bus, fortunately little wait, and got to the gate right as boarding was starting.

After everyone appeared to have boarded, I very nicely asked the agent how many were boarded and if there was a chance I might make it. “Just wait and you’ll find out.” Um, ok. I seriously will never understand why when it takes no extra effort to be kind and helpful to someone some people make it their mission to be rude and nasty. Ugh. I was the only one on standby, so it shouldn’t have been a big deal.

Five minutes before departure time it was obvious there were missed connections, and she cleared me into a window seat. I asked if there were other open seats. “Be happy you’re on the flight.” and that was it. The takeaway I’d give United is…top elite passenger on a paid business class fare, you cancel their flight, and then an agent tells them they should just be happy to be downgraded and be on the flight. What sort of impression do you think that leaves with your customers?

I should know better…

United flight 5677, operated by ExpressJet
Newark, New Jersey (EWR) to Washington DC, National (DCA)
Depart 14:55, Arrive 16:06, Flight Time 1:11
Embraer ERJ-145, Registration N14570, Manufactured 2002, Seat 4D

Nothing to say about this flight. No drink service “due to the length of the flight” but at least I got to DC the same day instead of with a 24 hour delay. That shouldn’t be something to be happy for all things considered, but at this point it was.

The takeaway for me is – I’ve become the type of customer United seems to want. Paid business fares, not even using up all the upgrades I earn, requalifying on dollars basis…yet, they treat me poorly. It makes me reevaluate why I bother. The simple reason is, I live in the US, and still do a small to medium amount of domestic travel. If I joined another Star Alliance program, I’d get even fewer benefits, and zero transatlantic upgrades if I chose to use them. The service on United may be poor much of the time, but living in their hub at least I have options when things go wrong. As a non-elite I can pretty much guarantee I would have been screwed in Newark another 24 hours.

So, for now, I’ll continue to settle…and be happy in an abusive relationship.

Tel Aviv to Zurich in Swiss business, overnight in Zurich

Airports, Business Class, Flights, hotels, Israel, Restaurants, South Pacific Tour 2014, Switzerland No Responses »

Dec 222014

After a good dinner and sleep the night before I woke up with a nasty cold developing. Head congestion, runny nose, the works. Blech. The way I’d been running myself ragged the last 6-7 weeks it was hardly surprising, but after the mild cold I had just under two weeks prior in New Zealand to now get a full-blown one sucked. Oh well, the small price to be paid for an amazing time!

…and the view out my room at the Sheraton was amazing as well:

Task number one was coffee. The Sheraton Executive Lounge had a nice breakfast spread, and after stuffing myself with several espressos, fruit, hummus, and cheese, I gave into the temptation of the beach:

It was a lovely 70F/20C out, and there were shirtless runners everywhere and people playing in the ocean. Um, it’s a little cold for that I think, but hey, A for effort people! With the major head cold making me dizzy and hungover feeling I decided the best thing I could do before changing climate again was to walk off as much of the cold as possible. I took a 3 or so mile walk up and down the beach people watching and basking in the sun.

Daytrip to Jerusalem Old City

Israel, South Pacific Tour 2014 No Responses »

Dec 202014

After dinner at the Dancing Camel brewpub I headed back to my room to wind down since it was going to be another semi-early morning, especially because I had to change hotels. I’d had enough points for three nights at the Orchid Park Plaza and one night at the Sheraton, so would be changing for my last night before heading out to Jerusalem for our day tour. Unfortunately, the hotel had other ideas.

It started with loud noise in the room next to me. Then, I smelled cigarette smoke. The went on for 30+ minutes at 10pm, so I went to the front desk to complain. They said they’d look into it, but made it clear I was annoying them, and no, there were no other rooms. 30 minutes later it was still going, so I went down to complain again. They were more annoyed. Finally, they decided the best strategy was to get rid of me, so they offered me a smoking suite in the other tower. Told them I’d check it out first, because hey, one of the things I’m complaining about here is that people are smoking in the room next to me. Suite didn’t smell at all of smoke, and was a bit bigger and much quieter, so was worth the late night move.

Headed back to my original room to get my bags packed up, which took about 10 minutes, and was I was walking out a woman was walking out of the room next door. She screamed loudly at the people in the room “you still owe me 100 shekels” in Russian. Um, wait, there’s hookers in the room? Way to keep it classy Park Plaza! Fortunately, got to the new room and absolutely passed out, so no further drama.

Next day was another early morning fueled by canned coffee from the convenience store. Our tour left from the Jaffa Gate in Jerusalem at 11am, so I had a bit of time to make my way there. Unfortunately, this still meant getting up early to switch hotels before heading to the train station to catch the train to Jerusalem. The bus would have been faster, but I figured the extra hour in order to have the train experience would be worth it. I was definitely right.

Got to the Sheraton around 7am, and they were almost as surly as the Park Plaza, until they realized I was an SPG Platinum Member at which point they perked up a bit. They “supposed” they could give me a room early, but it would only be a high floor standard renovated room instead of a junior suite. It was one night, and would be somewhere to put my bags, so I went with it. The room was nice and modern, and as soon as I dropped my bags I hopped a cab to the train station.

The train station was packed, with military everywhere. Being Sunday, I assume everyone was heading back to assignments from visiting friends/family over the weekend so the trains were packed. My train was absolutely packed with military, dozens of them in my car. At one point I felt something poking into my leg, and realized it was the barrel of the guy seated next to me’s gun.

Upon getting off at Jerusalem, it definitely seemed like the entirety of the IDF was on my train:

When I exited the station I realized I was still 5+ miles from the Jaffa Gate. Hmmm, expensive taxi or try and figure out the bus. Decided to try the bus. Got on google maps on my phone, it told me the right bus number, and it was easy to find and a piece of cake. It was a good public transit experience, and what did we do before we had google maps to plan such things?!

Got to Damascus Gate with an hour to spare, so while waiting on Ian decided to have a light late breakfast:

We had booked our tour through Sandeman’s Tours, and they had two options. A three hour free tour, or a much longer 19 euro paid tour. I figured the free tour would be full of annoying cheap people, and Jerusalem had a ton to see, so we went with the paid tour. It was a great decision on our part. Our tour guide was Ryan, an American who’d moved to Israel over ten years ago and was outgoing, friendly, gregarious, and full of knowledge on Jerusalem. We were about 10 people in our group, and first task was the group photo:

That’s Ryan in the lower right in front of Ian and I. First stop was the Armenian Quarter of the Old City, where there wasn’t terribly much to see. We stopped a few times to talk and get a bit of history, but other than that it was a pretty quick stop through this part of the Old City. Cool buildings as we walked:

Daytrip to Ramallah, Bethlehem, and the West Bank

Attractions, Israel, Palestine, South Pacific Tour 2014 2 Responses »

Dec 192014

Was up at 5:30 the next morning to drink canned coffee from the grocery store (I wasn’t taking chances so made sure I had something) to head to Jerusalem to begin our daytrip. Ian had found a tour online with Green Olive Tours that would cover the major sites in Bethlehem and Ramallah. The tour left from Jerusalem, but there was an optional add-on from Tel Aviv which unfortunately had a pick up at 6:30 am. Ugh. No worries though, I was so jetlagged that my body was used to running on little sleep.

Fortunately the Tel Aviv pickup was only about a 10 minute walk from my hotel, and even at 6am it was light out, so had a nice brisk walk in the cold. It was just me and one other person from Tel Aviv, so we headed off early. Thanks to it being Shabaat there was very little traffic, and we were in Jerusalem over an hour before the tour was scheduled to leave. The schedule the Tel Aviv pickup at the same time each day, regardless of Shabaat, which makes little sense.

The meeting point in Jerusalem was the YMCA, which might be the nicest and largest YMCA I’ve ever seen. Had a nice coffee in their restaurant while waiting for Ian…and another coffee once he arrived. The YMCA was located right off Abraham Lincoln street – LOL!

Soon our group was together, and we were ready to go. Our guide was excited for this trip, since he’d just recently gotten his permit allowing him to travel into Israeli territory. Previously, the tour would have to go pick him up in the West Bank and then start. Green Olive is a Palestinian company, so it was interesting to get another perspective on the situation.

On the way, he gave us a bit of background on Palestine and Modern Israel, and explained about Area A, Area B, and Area C. Area A is full civil and security control by the Palestinian Authority, and makes up around 3% of the West Bank, excluding East Jerusalem but including Bethlehem, and Ramallah which we were visiting as well as Jericho. Area B is Palestinian civil control and joint Israeli-Palestinian security control and makes up another 25% or so of the West Bank. Area C is the balance of around 70% and is under full Israeli control.

Leaving Area C, we approached this ominous sign. Dangerous to my life? Oh Israel, you CLEARLY don’t know my travel history:

First stop in Area A was the tomb of Yasser Arafat:

Arafat’s Tomb:

Ok, so it’s a bit awkward posing next to a tomb, but the tour guide and the guards encouraged me:

Two Days in Tel Aviv, Israel

Israel, Restaurants, South Pacific Tour 2014 1 Response »

Dec 182014

Not too long of a taxi ride in the pouring rain, and eventually made it to my hotel, the Park Plaza Orchid. I’d booked it because I had lots of Club Carlson points to burn, and I expected a nice hotel of Radisson standards. Unfortunately, that was not really the case. There was nothing particularly wrong with the hotel, it just felt really old and a little…off. The room was ok, bed was comfortable, the AC worked well, etc, it just felt like it was a bit cramped and older. For free, however, it was great.

The staff, however, was a completely different story. Throughout the three nights I was there, the front desk staff was almost universally surly and unfriendly, and although they would answer questions I definitely got the feeling I was a bother each time I asked. In fairness to them, I did see them dealing with several customers from Hell, who would yell at them and chew them out. Mostly all demanding, nasty stereotypical New Yorkers. Several times I just stood in the lobby and watched the interactions in disbelief that people could be that nasty to each other.

I had about an hour to grab a quick shower and rest up before meeting up with Ian, a reader of my blog from New Jersey who I met via FlyerTalk and who happened to also be visiting Israel at the same time, although staying in Jerusalem. Ian showed up almost on time (thanks to the Israeli train system’s stunning punctuality – I wonder if they hire consultants from Fiji Airways?) and we got ready to head out for Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, it was Thanksgiving, and yes, we were promised dinner. Max, another reader of my blog who I met via FlyerTalk and who lived in Tel Aviv had heard about the dinner through a local events list and thought it looked fun…so recommended it to us. Thanksgiving Dinner in Tel Aviv? Can you GET a more awesome cultural experience? Signed up, paid, and waited.

In the meantime, I did a little research into what I’d actually signed up for. The event was called “My Big Fat TLV Thanksgiving” and was hosted by an organization called Nefesh B’Nefesh. It was one of their activities in their “post Aliyah group” but made no mention of who was welcome. It described a “lively crowd of Young Professionals, Internationals, Israelis and Lone Soldiers for a delicious and traditional Thanksgiving meal with fine Israeli wine and Negev brewed Beer.” There would be beer, I was sold. I was pretty sure we’d be the only non-Jews there…and at this stage I didn’t even know what an “Aliyah” was…so when the event registration asked if I’d made one I decided I probably hadn’t. I wasn’t sure what a “Lone Soldier” was either, but hey, again, beer and turkey were promised.

When we showed up fashionably late, the event was already in full-swing:

The table was already pre-set with the first course. Some salads, hummus, and wine:

After maybe 45 minutes or so, the yams, rice, turkey, and stuffing came out:

Eventually, our table filled up, pretty much with 20-25 year old men with American accents…pretty much all from New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania. Oh, and their one random Colombian friend. They had all “made Aliyah”” and joined the Israeli military. Rather than mangle it, I’ll let Wikipedia define Aliyah: “Aliyah (“ascent”) is the immigration of Jews from the diaspora to the land of Israel. Also defined as ‘the act of going up’ or as in progressing towards Jerusalem.” The stories these guys told were pretty fascinating, but all had similar themes. They’d finished high school in the states, wandered about a bit, never really “found their thing” and then came to Israel where life suddenly made sense and had meaning. Several said they’d “found a sense of purpose.”

It was quite interesting dinner conversation. Especially due to the wine. And beer. And when that was gone they found whiskey. Then, one of the servers came around with arak shots. Things were pretty messy at this point. Like 20-25 something males worldwide when the source of alcohol ran out, the conversation turned to where they would go to find more…and where it was cheapest. And where they could pick up some company for the night. We also learned from them that if you really want to find willing companions, you should go to a Kibbutz, because apparently everyone there is on the prowl. The only sign you were in Israel and not the US, is several of them, despite being in street clothes, were toting automatic weapons. I mean, I always put my gun on the Thanksgiving table…don’t you?

Proof there might have been a little alcohol consumed:

Washington to Tel Aviv, Israel in United Business

Airports, Business Class, Flights, Israel, South Pacific Tour 2014 No Responses »

Dec 122014

After a whole 72 hours in DC, it was time to head out again. After 4.5 weeks away in the South Pacific I came back, played a little hockey, did a LOT of laundry, worked three days, and soon it was time to head out. Unfortunately, Mother Nature had other ideas. There was a bit of a snow/ice/sleet storm on the east coast, and DC and NJ were both affected. Four of the five evening flights from DCA to Newark were canceled mid-morning, and miraculously only mine was not. Living right after the Fiji Airways nightmare.

Of course, I was watching the plane. One of the things I like best about united.com is you can see where planes are coming from, and I noticed my plane kept falling further and further behind due to weather in Newark, yet my flight wasn’t delayed. Fortunately I’d booked a long connection, so I had high hopes I’d be fine. When I left for DCA, it was officially one hour late, although based on times online I was almost certain it would be at least two hours late…but I’d still be ok.

When I got to DCA, I was surprised that the remodeled half of the United Club was already open, and seemingly nobody else knew of it. Perfect for snapping a couple of pics:

I love the vintage United pics on the wall. Major kudos to United for a nice remodel. After a couple of glasses of Château le Jeff and some Tilamook cheese, we finally boarded almost exactly two hours behind schedule, just as I’d predicted.

United flight 3900, operated by Republic Airlines
Washington, National, USA (DCA) to Newark, New Jersey (EWR)
Depart 18:09, Arrive 19:42, Flight Time 1:33
DeHavilland Dash 8-400, Registration N342NG, Manufactured 2010, Seat 2A

It’s United Express. The crew used “weather” as the reason no drinks – even water – would be served, not even pre-departure. I asked if they would make an exception for first, and the answer was no. With a nearly one hour flight time, and almost no turbulence, I wasn’t impressed…but also not surprised. Sigh. At least we still made it to Newark over an hour before my connection. I was so glad I’d booked a three hour connection…and very fortunately to be the one flight that didn’t get canceled.

United flight 90
Newark, New Jersey (EWR) to Tel Aviv, Israel (TLV)
Depart 22:45, Arrive 16:20, Flight Time 10:35
Boeing 777-200, Registration N76021, Manufactured 2010, Seat 8E

Stopped briefly by the United Club for a bit of water, and then off to the gate. The Tel Aviv gate was cordoned off by some portable walls, and there was a boarding pass check to get into the gate area. After getting into the gate, your hand luggage was searched by hand. It was a bit of ridiculous security theatre, because when my rolling bag was opened up I think they spend 2-3 seconds running their hands around the bag before letting me go. No “real” security here. Hah. As soon as they finished it was time to board.

A lovely glass of Dom Jeffignon was waiting for me, along with the menu:

I like the Continental layout on the 777, as long as I’m in the middle, because both seats have aisle access and there’s no climbing over people. To top it off my seatmate was a quite and polite person, so it seemed it would be a pleasant 10 hour flight. This was in stark contrast to the woman across the aisle from me, who was a nightmare for the crew. She was grandma, sitting with grandpa. A few rows back were her daughter and son-in-law, and somewhere around were the 6 grandkids. She made certain the flight attendant knew she’d bought 10 business class tickets, and when the kosher meal wasn’t to her liking, she demanded they get the regular meal. No matter how much the flight attendants tried to explain there were no extra meals, she went on and on about how much money she’d spent. At leas she was relatively quiet about it, so it provided a bit of free in-flight entertainment 😉

Fortunately, she was also a martyr, so eventually quieted down and sacrificed the few normal meals that were found to the grandkids while she passed out to sleep in her Coco Chanel eyeshade 😉

Meanwhile, I enjoyed some Domaine Ste. Jeff and warm nuts:

The appetizer. Nowhere up to international business class standards, but for United shockingly good. I’ll take a few pieces of salmon any day to their one prawn appetizer.

I don’t know what happened to my salad pic, but the rack of lamb was something I’ve never seen on any other United flight. It was slightly better than the usual beef options, and was a nice change.

Le fromage. Pretty good. Fortunately, tonight, I didn’t want seconds, sparing me from having to battle with the crew for it.

Tonight I went with “caramel and cherries.” I think nine cherries might be a record. The flight attendant went kinda nuts:

I slept 4-5 hours after dinner, and as hoped woke up about three hours before landing. Since the arrival time was late afternoon I wanted to wake up a bit before landing to adjust a little bit to local time, especially since I’d likely want to sleep within eight hours of landing or so.

What’s this for the pre arrival meal…more salmon with…caviar on it? United serving caviar? Is the world coming to an end???

The main was decidedly nasty eggs and potato thing, with the sugar and flour and cinnamon roll. I think I took about four bites of this yellow and brown meal before giving up.

Landed right on time, and then it was off to deal with immigration. I’d heard lots of rumours over the years about Israeli security, so was quite curious to see what it was all about. Immigration was a big non-event, and I was through in probably one minute. Couple of innocent questions that would have been at home anywhere in the world, and I was off to find cash, and a taxi in the pouring rain, to head to my hotel. I think the only thing they were curious about were all the African visas in my passport, and that was only because they cared if I had Ebola.

It was already dark when we landed around 4pm, so it was if I’d lost a whole day. We took off at night, flew through the day with the blinds closed, and landed again in the dark. Hopefully I’d slept just enough to keep going, but not enough that I’d have trouble sleeping a few hours later…

Frankfurt to Washington, Dulles in United First

First Class, Flights, South Pacific Tour 2014 1 Response »

Dec 102014

Got an early start, grabbed some Starbucks at Frankfurt Hauptbanhof, and then headed in to the airport on the S-Bahn for my final flight of the South Pacific part of this trip. I already had my mobile boarding pass, so headed straight to security and the Lufthansa Senator Lounge. I still think it’s shameful that United can only get you an invite to the same lounge its business class passengers use at the hub of its closest partner. Oh well, a delicious german beer and pretzel for a late breakfast and all was nearly forgiven:

The usual pre-boarding security theatre for flights to the States, consisting of some mall security asking you a bunch of silly scripted questions that anyone with 1/100 of a brain isn’t going to get wrong. One of these days we’ll start taking genuinely meaningful security measures that actually have a chance of keeping flights safer…

United flight 988
Frankfurt, Germany (FRA) to Washington/Dulles, Virginia, USA (IAD)
Depart 11:25, Arrive 14:35, Flight Time 9:10
Boeing 777-200, Registration N227UA, Manufactured 2001, Seat 1K

After Asiana and ANA, I knew United was going to disappoint me, even in Global First. I’ve flown the product dozens of times before so I knew what to expect: a comfortable seat, TGI Fridays quality food, and wines I could generally buy for $10 a bottle. The thinking is that nobody actually pays for United first, it’s mostly either upgrades from business, award tickets, or employees, so there’s little incentive to invest in the product. It’s really a question of chicken and egg, however. If they don’t invest, people won’t buy it, and if people don’t buy it it’s hard to justify investing.

Ok, enough of the soapbox. I was offered a glass of “champagne” pre-departure, and today’s choice was a lovely non-vintage Veuve Smisek:

So, what’s to eat?

A wine list so steeped in tradition, from the finest terroirs of the old and new world. The actual wines are so outstanding, they have to be kept secret so the competition doesn’t steal United’s palate-delighting ideas:

…but never fear, you get an amenity kit, not one but <strong>two</strong> pillows, <strong>AND</strong> noise-cancelling headphones. You know, because serious airlines don’t offer any of these things in business class much less first class!

Up in the air, I decided to switch away from the champagne since I’d been sufficiently tempted by the wine list. Today’s secret wine was a lovely Château le Jeff 2014 which had subtle undertones of burnt leaves and oak with a refreshing rotting pumpkin that lingered on the palate:

…but hey, garlic bread. That makes up for a lot of shortcomings in my book. Mmmm….

Then this happened. Really. That’s an appetizer. Two little skewered pieces of chicken breast with a little couscous. Wow. I literally can’t even.

The zucchini and parmesan soup, however, was surprisingly tasty:

…as was the salad. Surprisingly good. They really could invest in higher-quality croutons, however, and please…get rid of those strange dressings United is oh so fond of serving. I think today’s was Creamy Guava Delight, or something similarly corny. Maybe it was Tantalizing Passionfruit…I’ve forgotten. Either way it was mildly creamy, had citrus fruit undertones, and was just plain strange.

The beef. Not good. Not good at all. Somewhere between well done and shoe leather. The sauce made it salvageable, and the few pieces of defrosted microwave broccoli and carrots really made the dish!

The cheese. Mmmm. I asked for seconds. I was told no. I saw the crew eating cheese and crackers later in the flight. #FAIL. Really too bad, because the cheese was actually quite good, and likely the best part of the meal.

…and to finish things off…the sundae. I sometimes get caramel, sometimes hot fudge, always with “cherries.” Today I decided to go wild and have both, still with cherries. It’s always fun watching United crews interpret “cherries.” It’s been as little as one, and as many as 15 or so. Today, it was three:

Finished off dinner with a glass of the Late Harvest Changes You’ll Like Cellars Icewine, which was divine. Or maybe it was amaretto on the rocks. I get the two confused sometimes….

After dinner I napped a couple hours, watched some tv on the iPad, and soon enough we were about 90 minutes out and it was time for the pre-arrival snack. Now, don’t get your hopes up here.

It’s fruit. The same fruit the serve in business class. A box of two chocolates…the same two chocolates they serve in business class. And a sandwich…which is decent. Not amazing, but at least it’s decent.

So, overall summary: the crew was friendly and efficient, even if they did lie about having extra cheese. The seat is nice, reasonably private, and comfortable sleeping. The food and beverage? Well, they’re something ANA and Asiana would be embarrassed to serve in business class not to mention first. But again, it’s understandable why United does what it does.

With that said, quick trip through immigration and security, and it was off to the condo to spend a whole 72 hours in DC (after five weeks away) before packing up again and heading to Israel and Palestine for Thanksgiving!

Seoul to Frankfurt in Asiana 747 First, overnight in Frankfurt

Airports, First Class, Flights, Germany, hotels, Restaurants, South Pacific Tour 2014 No Responses »

Dec 092014

Woke up pretty early, and considered taking the hotel shuttle down to the subway station to grab some Starbucks, but it was absolutely pouring rain out, so rested around the hotel a bit before giving up and catching the KAL Limo Bus back to the airport. I was the only one on the bus until the last stop, so had my own luxury coach:

No traffic at all, took barely an hour to get to Incheon Airport, where Heaven awaited me:

I’ve had every name under the sun on my Starbucks glasses – Justin being the most common, but also Jadon, Trason, Mason, you name it. This was a new one, however:

Friends had told me that after check-in, Asiana agents would escort you through security and passport control, all the way up to the lounge. Well my agents were friendly and helpful, but after they escorted me to the security line they left. No big deal at all, and I actually get kind of uncomfortable with people being overly helpful, but was just surprised based on what others had told me.

I had about two hours to kill in the lounge, which was nice, and I had a couple glasses of champagne while catching up on this blog a bit, and soon it was time to wander to the gate for the main event. Again, I’d been told there was an escort from the lounge to the gate, but no such thing was mentioned.

Asiana Flight 541
Seoul/Incheon, Korea (ICN) to Frankfurt, Germany (FRA)
Depart 12:50, Arrive 16:35, Flight Time 11:45
Boeing 747-400, Registration HL7418, Manufactured 1994, Seat 3A

Not one, but two stellar champagnes were on offer. Pol Roger Cuvee Sir Winston Churchill 2000 and Charles Heidsieck Blanc des Millenaire 1995. I give Asiana a lot of credit for not taking the easy way out with Krug or Dom, and offering two different stellar champagnes. I went with the Pol Roger, and wasn’t disappointed at all.

Tokyo to Seoul in Asiana business, overnight in Seoul

Airports, Business Class, Flights, hotels, Restaurants, South Korea, South Pacific Tour 2014 No Responses »

Dec 062014

After a nice relaxing breakfast, it was time to catch the hotel shuttle back to Narita. Got there a bit early, so mainlined some Starbucks while I waited and very slowly came back to life. Soon Asiana check-in was open, and the line next to me provided “Happy Mom Service.” This is a thing? Seriously?

At check-in I got the bad news that Asiana had eliminated first class service on regional routes, and I’d been downgraded to business. GRRR. Not to worry though, it was still the same plane so I’d get a first class seat with business class service. No first class lounge, however. Yuck. The great thing at check-in, however, is that the agent was willing to check my bag of scuba gear all the way to DC so I didn’t have to pick it up for three days….and I was back in the land of carry-on only. Thank God!

Through immigration, where you must remember that transporting crabs is not permitted!

Explored the United Club lounge, had one beer because…well…automatic beer machine…before retreating in fear to the ANA lounge. It unfortunately, wasn’t much better. I’d never been in either of these lounges before, having always used the ANA First (now suites) lounge on my previous trips through Narita. The ANA lounge was fairly ok, but neither lounge was anything to get there at all early for.

I decided to head to the gate on time, and of course, boarding was thus delayed for 20 minutes. Just my luck. Our plane had arrived slightly late from Seoul, but was nice to get a good pic of her:

Right around the time we were scheduled to leave we finally boarded.

Asiana Flight 101
Tokyo/Narita, Japan (NRT) to Seoul/Incheon, Korea (ICN)
Depart 12:30, Arrive 15:10, Flight Time 2:40
Boeing 747-400, Registration HL7423, Manufactured 1997, Seat 3A

Boarded and the crew extremely graciously brought menus rather quickly:

I chose the Korean option, however, I noticed the crew being rather uncomfortable with the last passengers. I called the FA over and asked if I could switch to the western meal, and she gave a big smile and said of course. When I don’t really have a preference I like to make the crew’s life easier, and it was nice to help them avoid an uncomfortable situation a bit.

It was a good choice, and rather tasty:

My help provided me with several timely champagne refills, which helped the flight go by quite quickly. I’d saved my Air New Zealand socks just for the occasion:

The crew actually closed the curtains between first and business class during the flight, so other than the fact that the food and wine were slightly below what they would have been in first…and the lounge issue…it felt more or less like first anyways with the seat and service, so it wasn’t too much of a let down.

Immigration was pretty quick, and with no luggage checked I was outside waiting for the Korean Airlines Limo. Took a few minutes to buy a ticket and find the right route, and after about 15-20 minutes a bus came. I wasn’t sure how long it would take to get to my hotel, but I seemed to remember it was a bit over an hour. Unfortunately, I hadn’t counted on the fact it was rush hour, and it took nearly two hours to get there. Ugh. At least the bus was empty so I had two seats to myself.

It was a bit after 6pm when I finally got to my hotel, the W Walkerhill. I knew this wasn’t in the best location, however, I knew it would be relaxing and my first choice (the Westin) wasn’t available the night I needed. I got lucky, however, and received what was for me a rare W upgrade to a Cool Corner Room. The check-in agent was really helpful, helped me figure out all my transportation questions for using the hotel bus plus subway to get to dinner, which was really awesome. Strange furnishings outside the room should have warned me things were going to get weird:

I’ll save the room details for later. I headed out to meet some friends for a light dinner and drinks in Gangnam. Bright lights! Heeeeeeey sexy lady!

After dinner and a few drinks, these dancing soju bottles looked about as goofy as I felt:

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I’d had just enough to drink, and made the mistake when asked what our next stop should be of saying “I want a traditional late night experience.” Then I made the mistake of saying I would “eat anything.” Off to the fish market we went…where I was introduced to sannakji…or live octopus. It gets chopped up while alive, and you eat it while the tentacles are still thrashing from electrical impulses:

What they DON’T tell you, however, is that the little suction cups still work, and attach to your throat on the way down in an attempt to hang on. Fortunately I avoided choking despite the amount of soju we’d consumed, and managed to make it back to my hotel…where the oddness of the room somehow seemed not quite as weird.

The Austin Powers bed. Unfortunately, it didn’t rotate:

Living area, and walkway to the walk-in closet, door, and washroom:

Walk-in closet:

Strange uber-modern washroom:

…you can’t give me a goofy red robe and slippers that match the decor and expect me NOT to put them on:

The octopus had finally settled down for a bit, so settled down to get some sleep before what would be an unfortunately very early flight the next morning.

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