So, Vanuatu. I wasn’t planning on coming to Vanuatu. I was there nearly ten years ago, and had checked that one off the country visiting list. But, yet, somehow this blog entry features Vanuatu. If you’re going to guess this has something to do with Fiji Airways, of course, you’re correct!
About two weeks before the trip started, I called Fiji Airways to enquire about making a change to my reservation. I had originally booked Nadi-Suva-Tuvalu on a Tuesday (which went tits up as you saw in previous posts) and the Tuvalu-Suva on a Thursday, followed by Suva-Nadi on Friday morning so I could spend a night checking out Suva. Little did I know at the time all the drama that would revolve around Tuvalu.
However, Fiji Airways referred me to Expedia to make the change since I’d booked with them. Expedia tried, but couldn’t…and they couldn’t figure out why. I called Fiji Airways back to ask why Expedia couldn’t. They didn’t even want to tell me…but finally I convinced them that I wasn’t asking them to touch the reservation, just to look and see if they could figure out why Expedia might be having trouble. Oh yes, after Fiji you are scheduled to fly to Honiara, Solomon Islands. We no longer operate that flight due to a trade dispute with the Solomon Islands.
This was two weeks before the trip started, and I was going to have to completely replan the middle two weeks of the trip. It took me about two days to reconfigure things, then, I had to call Expedia to book. Needless to say, I will never book with Expedia again. It took a total of 24 calls to Expedia, over 11 hours of total call time. 6 times, I worked with an agent or was on hold for more than an hour, before getting “disconnected.” What a coincidence, just when the agent was getting frustrated they disconnected me.
I also spoke to a woman with an Indian accent who claimed her name was Bubbles. Bubbles was helpful, until she hung up on me. I also spoke to a woman claiming to be “Diana Ross.” She was less helpful. This went on and on. One unhelpful chap, after nearly 90 minutes on the phone told me if I wanted a refund, it was all or nothing. The full ticket with all my Fiji segments. After days of fighting, this seemed like my best option even if the rebooking would cost me nearly $500 more. I called back to do this…no, you can only cancel the flight which is no longer operating. Escalate, escalate, get Tier 3 report. She goes back to “pull the recording” to see if he really told me that was an option. Two days later, she calls back. “I have granted your full refund.” Oh phew. All rebooked via Fiji Airways website, and going from Fiji to Solomon Islands via Vanuatu now.
I figured at least being booked directly with Fiji Airways, if something further went wrong (little did I know how much would go wrong with Fiji Airways) they would be empowered to touch the reservation. Did I mention I’m still waiting on that Tuvalu refund? Hah!
Ok, so Vanuatu. That’s why I’m going to Vanuatu!
Oh, one little detail I forgot earlier. When the Tuvalu mess finally got canned, I asked about the duty free which customs was holding. Nope, they wouldn’t release it. That’s illegal. But wait, you’re going to Vanuatu tomorrow, right? We will arrange with customs to transport it in secure transport to the customs facility at Nadi where you can pick it up inside security before you head to Vanuatu.
Uh, right, the chance of that happening is…
So, check-in for my flight. Fiji Airways check-in is pleasant, she even waives the 4 kilos of overweight baggage. Security, passport check, and then ask the guy at the customs desk about the wine. He seems surprised. “No, no, no such thing is possible. Well, maybe possible. But no, no, that would never happen.” Yeah, pretty much my thought when they told me that in Suva. “But let me call arrivals customs” Whoah, it’s in Nadi, and Customs has it. One problem: it’s in arrivals. After security. It’s liquid. My bags are checked, and even if they weren’t I’m not putting two bottles of red wine in my bags.
The customs agent is amused. He wants to solve this. It’s a quest now. He escorts me through back corridors of the airport, dismisses lowly security staff with the waive of a hand, and soon we’re in the arrivals area. Back in Fiji. Remember, I’d already been stamped out of Fiji. No matter. Mr Sharma is on a mission. Look what we got:
But we have a problem. We’re outside security. They won’t even let Mr Sharma past security with liquids. Never mind the fact it’s been in customs bonded control this whole time. Never mind the fact there’s a whole Duty Free store of liquids inside security, and if you can’t trust customs to bring them inside who can you trust. Oh, Mr Sharma knows who you can trust. Airline employees can go through security with any liquids they want. He finds a Fiji Airways agent outside security. Orders them to carry this through security for him. (Remember those questions you get about “have you packed your own bags?) The agent agrees, and says he’ll meet me on the other side of security. Mr. Sharma escorts me back out of Fiji, since I technically never left. Guess who’s on the other side? Yup, Fiji Airways agent with the Duty Free. It was a beautiful example of nonsensical bureaucratic security theatre. All’s well that ends well.
Well, not really. When I tried the wine later, it had gone off. Both bottles. Ugh. Hahahah.
Back to the flight. Parked on the tarmac was VP-BNZ a corporate jet belonging to Gazpromavia. Looks like some Russian oil billionaire was either relaxing in Fiji, or buying up a large part of Fiji. Hard to tell which.
Boarding, surprisingly, was pretty much on time, and away we go to Port Vila.
Fiji Airways Flight 263
Nadi, Fiji (NAN) to Port Vila, Vanuatu (VLI)
Depart 14:30, Arrive 16:00, Flight Time 2:30
Aerospatiale ATR 72, Registration DQ-FJZ Manufactured 2014, Seat 3D
We even got a snack and complimentary drinks. Had a can of Fiji Bitter, but the chicken sandwich smelled a bit off. I wasn’t going to risk it.
About 15 minutes after scheduled landing, we still weren’t descending. I’ve flown enough that my Fiji-Airways-Drama-Dar was going off big time. Something was up. I went to corner the flight attendants. “Yes, do not tell the other passengers, but the Captain informs me we may divert the plane to Santo.” Um, where is Santo? What country is that? It seems it’s Vanuatu, and there’s bad weather in Port Vila. You must be kidding me…yay for more Fiji Airways drama. In thousands of flights only my third ever in flight diversion…figures it would be Fiji Airways.
15 minutes later, the Captain confirms. We’re going to Santo. The rest of the passengers appear completely unsurprised. They’ve clearly flown Drama Airways before. Oh, did I mention 2/3 of the passengers were from Solomon Islands and doing the same thing I was? Dear stupid diplomats, get your shit sorted. You’re inconveniencing the very people you’re supposed to be working for.
Landed in Santo, where at least there was a bit of a rainbow awaiting us:
We sat on the plane for nearly an hour, slowly broiling in the tropical sun, until they finally let us off and into a waiting room. Some planes waiting around at Santo:
Another hour or so later, the weather in Port Vila had “cleared enough that we can try” so walked back through the big puddles on the tarmac to the plane.
Fiji Airways Flight 263
Espiritu Santo, Vanuatu (SON) to Port Vila, Vanuatu (VLI)
Depart 18:15, Arrive 19:10, Flight Time 55 minutes
Aerospatiale ATR 72, Registration DQ-FJZ Manufactured 2014, Seat 3D
Flight was bumpy, very bumpy, but not terribly eventful. We finally made it to Vanuatu a few hours later than planned (all said and done, I suppose that’s not bad for Fiji Airways) where it was through immigration and off to the hotel. If I was going to spend two nights there, at least I was going to get some diving in!
