May 292018
 


After a few more long and successful days of work and meetings, it was back to OR Tambo to finally head home after being away for three weeks. I had checked in online, so headed straight to security (which oddly enough had zero lines at all) and then through to passport control, which also had no lines. This means that less than 15 minutes after getting off the Gautrain, I was back in the South African Airways Lounge. Walking up to the counter to get a drink, the bartender quickly recognized me:

“My boss! Long time! Go sit down, I will bring you the usual at your usual place!” Yeah, so maybe I need to be spending less time in Johannesburg for the near future…

Apparently I looked thirsty, because I’d barely taken a sip when 10 minutes later he returned with another glass. Did I mention how I love the service in this lounge?

Off to the gate after a short bit, and my chariot was waiting for the ride to Frankfurt:

Boarding was the usual Johannesburg mess, with rather rude helpers roaming the boarding area demanding to see passports. Knowing the game, I loitered near the front of the queue, and when the boarding agent got flustered with the first few passengers another came right over and started a second line, and I think I might have been the first to board…

Lufthansa flight 573
Johannesburg, South Africa (JNB) to Frankfurt, Germany (FRA)
Depart 19:00, Arrive: 05:35 next day, flight time: 10:35
Boeing 747-8i, Registration D-ABYR, Manufactured 2015, Seat 8D
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 42,315
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,562,377

I rather like the 2-2-2 configuration on the Lufthansa 747-8i, and no it’s not all aisle access, but the seats in the middle section have a ton of space. Sitting in the window seats is definitely cuddle class. Yuck. 2005 called, it wants its seats back.

Pre-departures were offered, and I accepted a glass of the (warm) sparking wine. It got two sips and that was it. Ugh.

As soon as the door closed I was praising myself for my cunning stalking of the seatmap, and one of the few empty seats in business class was next to me…until the flight attendants brought up a friend from coach and sat her next to me. Ugh. Lufthansa was not doing a good job this flight of living up to their regular high performance. To top if off, “friend” immediately removed her shoes and socks and put her bare feet up in the shared foot area. Ugh. I expect better than this from Lufthansa…

At least the menu looked interesting:

Glass of wine and some nuts to start. I’m so glad Lufthansa finally got rid of the packaged nuts. As a bonus, the flight attendant working my section recognized me from the elevator at the hotel in the morning, where we traded good mornings as I was headed down to Starbucks and he was headed down to the end. Staying in the crew hotel has its benefits…and I got great service the rest of the flight 😀

The duck and pineapple starter was really tasty, but way too small… Of course, United considers two skewered prawns an appetizer, so…

The salad and the main were served together, and both were quite tasty. The beef goulash was also a nice non-traditional choice and a welcome change from the usual chicken or beef madness.

Wow, a business class salad with more than three ingredients. One of the better business class salads I’ve seen in a long time!

Above average business class cheese plate (but sadly no fig spread), and a delicious chocolate cake to finish off the meal.

I wasn’t really that tired, and stayed awake pretty much the whole flight watching tv. Around the middle of the night, I also started to lose all feeling in my right hand. Thinking I had just leaned on it weirdly I got up to walk around a bit, and it didn’t get any better. I stood up and chatted with the flight attendants a bit, and let them know…but the numbness didn’t seem to be spreading so I wasn’t too concerned. This is probably also a good place to mention I’d been dealing with a few (what I thought were) mosquito bites for a few days that had gotten progressively itchier. Fortunately, it never got any worse, but this wasn’t a good sign. (When I got home, medical geniuses decided it must be “some sort of spider or something that bit you in the middle of the night” – wonderful. Fortunately a month later, numbness is finally gone.)

Now, having not died in the middle of the night – or forced a medical emergency landing in Niger (seriously, they probably would have kept going, because, let’s be honest…), it was finally time for breakfast. Despite being dark out, nearly two hours before landing (mind you, 3:30am – no time change) they turned on all the cabin lights and brought round breakfast.

The omelette came with super tasty grilled bacon (though almost tasted more like a pork cutlet) and some cheese and fruit. Overall a rather impressive breakfast!

We landed about 15 minutes early, no line at all at at immigration, so I decided a proper sleep would help, so I headed to my semi-regular haunt the airport Sheraton to get four solid hours of sleep. I had just under six hours between flights, and that was way too long to sit in the lounge, and I figured 3.5 to 4 hours in a bed would make me feel human for the flight home.

Crashed as soon as I hit the bed, got four solid hours, and was worth every cent. Off to immigration and security which had zero line, and I actually had time for 20 minutes in the lounge on the way to the gate. Could have slept more, but had no way to know there would be no lines. Right, on to the flight.

United flight 961
Frankfurt, Germany (FRA) to Newark, New Jersey (EWR)
Depart 11:20, Arrive: 14:00, flight time: 8:40
Boeing 777-300ER, Registration N2331U, Manufactured 2016, Seat 1L
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 46,185
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,566,247

I’d booked this routing largely to finally try the new United Polaris seats, and decide if this was enough to finally give United a try. Well, they weren’t doing themselves any favours with terrible pre-departure sparkling wine in plastic cups:

‘MURICA sized seatbelts, perfect for someone with a 50-60 inch waist:

We taxied past the new Lufthansa livery…I don’t hate it as much as others do, but think it was a giant waste of branding budget.

The Polaris “wine flights” had gone away two days prior, but they still had the mini glasses, and the excellent flight attendant was more than happy to pour me all three to taste:

Above average salad (I’m always a sucker for a greek salad), and extremely sad appetizer. One sad wilted basil leaf, two slices of underripe tomato , a glop of gelatinous balsamic, and some mozzarella. The mozzarella was good at least…the rest was embarrassing.

I went with the short rib, knowing it would be essentially the same short rib from the last five years. It was, although very overcooked today.

At least dessert was awesome, partly because they had butterscotch for the rock hard ice cream today, and the macarons? Well, they were incredibly stale 🙁

Rather sad cheese plate, but because I’m a sucker for all the varieties they had, I’ll give that a pass!

At this point, the internet STILL wasn’t working, so finally the purser offered me compensation and an apology. The crew was absolutely fantastic on this flight, and really apologetic, but the frequency with which United has problems even on new planes is embarrassing. Nope, I’ll continue to book away from them whenever possible. To add insult to injury, the new compensation offers are laughable and insulting. As a 1K only $75 travel voucher or 3,500 miles? Just insulting for eight hours of missed work time.

Pre-arrival “deli plate” was not bad, and a nice lighter option. There was also a heavier-sounding option of a sandwich, but honestly this wasn’t bad. Though, the silly pre-packaged polaris chocolates are a sad excuse for a dessert.

We landed at Newark slightly early, and pulled into a gate in the B Terminal. It seems like United has been using the B Gates for international arrivals lately, and I assume this is to relieve overcrowding in the C Customs Hall? Anyone have more insight into this?

This was my first entry to the US since getting my Global Entry reinstated on appeal after a rogue agent revoked it, and I was curious to see how it would go. Couldn’t have gone better, nice and quick, and I was literally plane to landside in 10 minutes. Score!

Of course, this meant waiting for the airtrain to Terminal C, and then dealing with Terminal C security, which took 40 minutes even in the TSA PreCheck line. sEWaRk indeed – what a disgrace. Shame this airport and LaGuardia represent our great nation.

United flight 1743
Newark, New Jersey (EWR) to Washington, DC, National (DCA)
Depart 16:00, Arrive: 17:19, flight time: 1:19
Boeing 737-700, Registration N54711, Manufactured 1998, Seat 2E
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 46,384
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,566,446

The Port Authority, however, appears to be making me into a national hero. Armed with my cell phone, eyes, and ears I shall protect America’s airports!

Oh wait, never mind, apparently that’s Jason’s job, and I’m just Mason.

With that, it was a super nice treat to get a 737 from Newark to Washington National. Back around 2005 this used to be the norm on this route for Continental, but ever since the merger it’s been an endless stream of ERJ-145s with the occasional ERJ-170 thrown in for good measure. So this was a pleasant treat, and a really nice way to end what was a really nice trip.!

Now, with that, I have no travel booked for 4.5 weeks…and I can’t imagine that will last so….stay tuned!!

May 252018
 


Despite the lack of air conditioning and any city noise at all on Moon Mountain I slept like a rock and woke up just as the sun was coming across the horizon. View from my private plunge pool just outside my tent:

Yup, I think if I spent a few more days here I might have actually managed to relax enough to enjoy the peace and quiet of the amazing surroundings:

The road into Moon Mountain…it’s definitely “real” and “remote” Africa:

Leaving breakfast, the sun was coming up just over the mountains:

Headed out to get an early start, because I wanted to make it to Windhoek in time to see a bit of the city. Of course, I stopped at the bakery in Solitaire one last time for another piece of apple pie. Third visit, and I finally noticed the pictures of Moose McGregor hanging in the bakery:

So, this is where things got a bit messy. Maybe 30 minutes out of Solitaire, I saw a warning on the “D” road that I was on that trucks were not permitted due to steep inclines. I figured hey, how bad could it be, there would be some sort of serious warning if it was that big of a deal – right? I should probably preface this by saying that I don’t really deal well with heights.

Well, after 30 minutes more of driving, that’s when I saw it. The road took a very sudden right turn, and started heading up the side of the mountain, on a long and winding road with switchbacks and no guardrail, at roughly a 15% incline. It also kept going and going. I froze probably a minute in, and was like “ok, backing DOWN this thing at this point is going to be even worse, not to mention 2-3 hours probably out of the way to find a better route, so hey…you’ve lived a good life. Go for it.”

Yeah, I’m being a little dramatic because I hate heights, but it really is a pretty bad road. Fortunately, it’s been bricked over so at least you’re not sliding on gravel. The road crossed up over the Spreetsoogte Pass which is bad enough to have its own Wikipedia entry. According to Wikipedia, the road varies between 16% and 22% grade, making it even worse than I thought.

I was way too whiteknuckles the whole way to stop for pics, but a couple from google:

So, I admit that based on these pics it doesn’t look too terrifying, but if you need to see for yourself, the D1275 from Solitaire towards Windhoek will do it for you. I promise.

Anyways, I lived…and at the top I was terrified that if going up was rough (when I looked down at the road in front of me the whole way), I was scared how bad going down would be when I couldn’t avoid looking down, down, down. Well, surprise surprise, we never went down. We were actually drive up onto a plateau, so thank God for small miracles?

Driving the rest of the way to Windhoek was pretty easy, and the road actually turned to asphalt for the last 45 minutes or so. Waze did a great job of guiding me all the way into my hotel at the Hilton Windhoek, and had no problem getting the car parked and surviving the trip without wetting myself. After patting myself, I checked into my first super comfortable hotel with great AC in a few days and went for a walk.

Right outside the hotel was a statue of Curt von Francois, the founder of Windhoek in 1890:

Along the walk I stoped at Cramer Ice Cream, which tempted me with a waffle with amarula ice cream:

One of the best parts of Africa is the streets named after dictators:

Christuskirche:

The Independence Museum, with a statue of Sam Nujoma in front of it:

Very North Korean looking statue – it would not at all surprise me if Mansudae Overseas was responsible for this in addition to the statues in Senegal and other places.

Speaking of streets named after now former (sort of, since he’s still living in the Presidential Palace) dictators, it’s Uncle Bob Avenue!

After a long hot walk, I retired back to the rooftop pool at the Hilton where I had a couple of ciders and just relaxed.

View from the roof wasn’t half bad at all:

At the recommendation of friends i negotiated a taxi on the streets to take me to Joe’s Beerhouse, which was supposed to be a Windhoek institution. Based on the literally hundreds of people hanging out drinking and eating, I’d definitely found the most happening place in the entire country. The oryx lasagne was definitely a one-of-a-kind treat too!

Back to the Hilton, where the city looked just as amazing at night:

Off to bed, because it was time to get up early and fly to Zimbabwe in the morning!

May 242018
 


I was clearly tired from the night before when I slept poorly due to being up with food poisoning half the night, because even though the cabin was very bright and there was a fair amount of noise as people got up for sunrise at the dunes, I slept…and slept…and finally woke up at 9am just in time to get some breakfast and check out of the lodge before heading into the park.

A view of my cabin/room/tent from the outside:

First stop inside the park was at the lodge where I was able to buy the park permit, and drive into the park. I guess I hadn’t paid all that much attention when planning, as it was nearly a 40km drive to the first big dune, “Dune 45:”

Feeling much better today, I decided to head up the dune. Note the little person for scale:

Up we go! Fun with perspective:

More fun with perspective and shadows…it was a very hot and dry climb to the top…and surprisingly windy up there!

After hiking up it was back in the car to drive 30 minutes further to the main attraction…Dead Vlei, Big Daddy Dune, etc. So you have to (well you don’t HAVE to, but unless you’re good with a 4 Wheel drive on very loose sand you need to) drive to a car park, and from there take an overpriced shuttle the last mile or so.

Dropped off after a mile, I’d managed to chat up a nice Portuguese couple which was fun for the Portuguese practice…but trust me when I say, following them was NOT the best idea. Normal people? They walked in a line towards the Dead Vlei, but I figured the Portuguese must know what they’re doing…so followed them to the left on this pic, up that big dune…not following the line of people and the semi-worn trail:

Big mistake I learned after 20+ minutes of very hot hiking to the top…only to realize I was absolutely no closer to Dead Vlei…but hey, at least I could see it from way up there. Down, down the due we go. Now, mind you, it was nearly 100 degrees fahrenheit at this point because I was stupid and had started late…and there was zero shade obviously, and I hadn’t brought a head. Smart right?

But once I finally got to Dead Vlei, the sights were amazing. The contrast of the dead trees against the sand and the bright blue sky was absolutely stunning!

Again, amazing….and I take terrible pics!

Slowly starting the walk away from Dead Vlei:

Not being well-prepared, I opted to skip the hike up the Big Daddy Dune. If you’re going to do it, bring lots of water, covering for your head, and start early in the morning.

On the way out of the park, I stopped to snap a pic of the UNESCO World Heritage Site marker:

After leaving a park I stopped at the lodge again to grab a small snack and some diet coke and water to rehydrate before getting on the road. It was about an hour drive from the park to my lodging for the night at Moon Mountain Lodge.

It was about 20 minutes out of the way, but I totally backtracked to Solitaire again because…I was hungry and the apple pie was THAT good!

First off, let me say, the setting is stunning. The lodge is perched on the site of Moon Mountain, and unless you’re VERY good with a 4 Wheel Drive there’s no way you’re making it up to the lodge yourself. Fortunately, they see you coming and send a car down to get you.

First off, the big down side: internet is only available in the lodge, and has been broken for nearly six months. Coincidentally, they’re also recently under new ownership, and it definitely seems like upkeep hasn’t been great. In addition to internet, the path lighting to the tents at night was out, and if I hadn’t had my phone as a flashlight it could have been a dangerous walk.

Right, first off, the inside of my tent…well, “Executive Suite”, but it was a real tent…canvas walls and all. Note the door on the right to the bathroom…which was almost the same size as the tent, and connected with a small walkway:

Did I mention stunning views? Sunset from the lodge:

Sunset in the other direction:

One of the best things about the lodge in addition to the view was the dinner buffet. Plentiful selections, and with maybe 40 guests in the whole place there was plenty to eat…and really tasty as well. Drinks were a la carte, but very reasonable, and the staff really did go out of their way to be as helpful as possible. Overall, it was a really enjoyable night, even without AC and internet.

Off to bed…another long day of driving tomorrow to Windhoek!

May 232018
 


Fortunately after falling back to sleep around 3 or 4am I managed to sleep until 8am, and only woke up feeling terrible – and not like death. I felt well enough to try and shower and leave the room, and at least see what breakfast looked like. I was craving salt for obvious reasons, and figured I might get a little food down.

The breakfast buffet all looked totally unappetizing, but used it as an excuse to force myself to eat some cinnamon buns and bacon, and get some calories and nutrients back in. I was feeling so dodgy I even skipped coffee and went with tea, and actually started to feel  moderately human afterwards.

Human enough that I decided to go for a little walk outside and see if I could see anything more in the daylight. To say it was a little foggy out would be an understatement:

Woerman House, now a museum and library:

Under the pretence of needing calories and caffeine, I stopped for a nibble at Cafe Anton for their Apfel Struedel as a few friends had recommended. Unfortunately, my piece wasn’t very good and the crust was actually a bit raw in spots. The espresso was, however, pretty good, and there may have been a second one….and still no signs of the upset from the night before other than feeling slightly nauseous. This might be the quickest bout of food poisoning I’ve ever dealt with!

The Leuchtturm – lighthouse – and one of the symbols of the city:

Rather gory war memorial near the lighthouse:

Für Kaiser und Reich!

I found the monument rather fascinating in all its gore!

Memorial to those killed in the Two World Wars:

Walking back along the still foggy beach back to the hotel:

Got back, packed up, took some meds, and hoped I would be well enough for the long five hours of driving ahead. At least I reasoned that if I started to feel too awful again I would at least be in the middle of nowhere where nobody would be witness!

After checking out I got back in the SUV and stopped by a grocery store to stock up on supplies for the next three long days of driving. Lots of water, caffeine, and some Pringles for good measure just in case I needed the salts. Headed out of town, and within an hour I was near the turnoff for Dune 7. It was pretty good roads all the way here so far, and I was beginning to think this might not be too bad. Well, except for the fact there was exactly zero cell reception at the dune. Note the tiny people climbing the dune to get a sense of perspective:

Golden sand against clear blue sky: #nofliter

I still wasn’t feeling 100% so opted to skip climbing the dune and proceeded further east. Had to stop in front of the Walvis Bay airport sign for a selfie to prove I was there:

However, soon after the airport the road turned to gravel, and then even rougher gravel. The car was handling it pretty well for the most part with minimal sliding and despite the challenging terrain, it was even worse off the road:

I probably drove another 90 minutes to two hours, stopping every 20 minutes or so to give the arms a rest from the jarring of the bumpy roads on the steering wheel. Eventually I made it to the Tropic of Capricorn. Hey baby…what’s YOUR sign?

Finally after nearly four hours of driving I made it to the “town” of Solitare, which is located in the middle of nowhere in the desert. I thought I was probably just a little over an hour from my destination at this point, but it was nice to finally sit down at the cafe and rest a bit. This is the only sign of civilization for hours, so a popular waypoint with tourists on their way to the dunes.

Old abandoned petrol machine in Solitaire:

Grave of Percival “Moose” McGregor who had died just a couple of years prior, and was well known in Solitaire for his bakery.

Rusting out truck cab. Spectacular against the blue sky and desert:

Rusting car in the desert:

Welcome to Solitaire sign:

After enjoying a piece of apple pie it was back into the car to finish off what was hopefully the last hour or so stretch to the lodge. Waze was acting a bit crazy (did I mention there was no data signal anywhere in the desert, and only the gas station in Solitaire had weak wifi?) and took me a bit of a longer route off of a “C road” and onto a “D road.” If the C roads were gravel and bad, I shuddered to think what a D road would be like. Fortunately, it was really no worse…maybe even better…and after a bit finally made it to Sossusvlei Lodge.

First disappointment: again no internet, except in the reception area and bar, and even that was rather weak. Fortunately, my hut/tent/whatever you want to call it for the night did have one small weak AC unit, but I was able to move the bed right under it and sleep really well:

Plenty of space in the room:

Huge spacious washroom with walk-in shower:

Sunset on the edge of the desert:

Gorgeous pink hue in the sky:

Wandering a bit further from the lodge, and hoping not to run into scorpions or other wild critters, the sunset got even more vibrant:

Dinner was a buffet affair, and tables were assigned. I sensed a sense of pity from the staff that I was all alone, and they acted like it was the first time they’d seen a visitor not in a group. They walked me over to my sad and lonely table for one, and I set out to explore the buffet. It was a carnivore’s dream, with just about every type of wild game you could imagine for grilling:

I guess I was feeling better and my appetite had returned!  Boerewors, oryx, haartebeast, springbok…had to get my protein levels back up!

With that after a long day of driving I was exhausted, and crashed hard for eight hours. I was told it was a good idea to get up for sunrise over the dunes, but I just couldn’t be bothered…

May 222018
 


After a very long week of even longer days at work, it was time for a bit of holiday before going back to work. Due to prior commitments I couldn’t get all my client commitments lined up in one week, so decided to separate them by a week and take some holiday in the middle. So, Saturday morning arrived, and I was off to OR Tambo Airport to get away.

Every time I’m there I totally want to buy the zebra pelts in duty free as a rug, but at a price tag of 16,000 rand, it’s a bit steep for my budget!

While I waited, I caught a great view of my plane waiting for us. I had opted to go with Air Namibia for the novelty factor, despite their points not being worth anything. The flight time also allowed me an extra 90 minutes of sleep over South African, so that was a bonus as well. Air Namibia used a contract lounge whose name I can’t remember, but it was pretty decent, and I would say about as comfortable as South African’s lounge, which I rather like.

No priority boarding queue at all, and it was a mad scrum of European tourists. I think I boarded maybe #100 on the plane or so. Also, it might be the longest jetbridge in the world. If you look at the pic above you can see the part that connects to the plane, but at the top it zigs left and hugs the terminal building finally ending near the nose of where the Turkish plane is parked. Yes, ALL of that is jetbridge!

Air Namibia flight 726
Johannesburg, South Africa (JNB) to Windhoek, Namibia (WDH)
Depart 11:40, Arrive 13:45, Flight Time: 2:05
Airbus A319, Registration V5-ANM, Manufactured 2013, Seat 2A
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 36,026
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,556,088

First impression: I love the cabin. Sure, the seats are super old school leather recliners, but they weren’t lumpy at all and reasonably firm, and….

…look at that legroom! The inflight magazine quoted 54 inches, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was accurate. Extremely generous for a plane that often does 90 minute to two hour flights! You don’t see that often at all!

Sadly, the pre-departure beverage was water, water, or…water.

Flamingo…the in-flight magazine.

After 30 minutes after takeoff, out came the appetizer. A warm piece of what I’m pretty sure was beef, some grilled pineapple, and some orange wedges. Along with a roll…and some South African sparkling wine that was absolutely terrible. I asked to see the bottle, and was met with a “we cannot do that.” Uhhh…ok? At least it was a friendly refusal.

Beef, vegetarian, or fish. I went with the beef, and it was straight out of the United Airlines short rib kitchen. Tasted the same, looked the same, and once again, repeat after me: like grandma’s cooking. Now, remember this meal…we’re going to be coming back to it later…

Soon we were over the amazing landscape of Namibia…

Arrival was about 15 minutes late, which worried me because I only had a 45 minute connection to begin with. I had tried asking the flight attendants if this would be an easy connection, and they didn’t seem terribly interested in helping me.  Encountered probably one of the rudest immigration officials I’ve ever met anywhere in the world who finally stamped me into the country, but not before making very clear that she disliked me.

The path to connecting flights led me…right into the arrivals hall, where fortunately the departures hall was just a two minute walk away. It wasn’t entirely clear if I needed a new boarding pass or what, but there were literally hundreds of people queueing in the checkin lines, so decided to head for the door to security and try my luck. They seemed a bit puzzled with me (since everyone else was going straight from a check-in counter to the door towards security and departures) but apparently after explaining I was connecting that was enough.

Security was pretty quick and easy, and then….immigration counters. Wait, I’m on a domestic flight. Why are there immigration counters. Well, I just walked up and told the guy I was on a domestic flight, and he waved me through. Turns out the one room departures lounge has five gates that handle both international and domestic traffic.

I didn’t have to worry about the close connection since we left over 30 minutes late, so soon it was time to walk to our plane. I tried to snap a pic, but was very sternly chastised by a ramp agent. Ho hum.

Air Namibia flight 715
Windhoek, Namibia (WDH) to Walvis Bay, Namibia (WVB)
Depart 14:30, Arrive 15:10, Flight Time: 0:40
Airbus A319, Registration V5-ANN, Manufactured 2012, Seat 1F
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 36,210
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,556,272

Unlike the previous flight, pre-departure sparkling wine was offered. Unfortunately, it was pretty terrible again.

Nothing to say about the 30 minute flight, except it was absolutely packed. Oh, and we got a “snack”:

Pretty sad…and again…make a metal note of this for later…

Arrival in Walvis Bay was a casual affair, and passengers continuing to Cape Town were asked to remain on board, which seemed to be about 75% of the crew. Finally snapped a pic of our plane upon arrival:

Just walk from the plane to the terminal…it’s out there somewhere…

Finally, the terminal building…one of the smallest I’ve ever seen…and this is the “new” terminal!

I had rented an SUV from Hertz for the five days, and when I arrived the contract price was more than double what my confirmation said. First, there was a one-way rental fee when Hertz Platinum told me there wasn’t. Then there were about six or seven different insurances, etc. The guy seemed confused, but I just crossed out and initialed what I refused to pay for, and he was like “oh, ok.” I figured this would get interesting when I returned it. Oh, and the Walvis Bay location no longer takes AmEx, but he was “pretty sure” they do in Windhoek. He eventually agreed to let me go by writing down the credit card number, and we were off.

Drive into Swakopmund was just under an hour, and finally I found my hotel the Swakopmund Plaza Hotel. I had booked the larger “family room” since it was only slightly more, and it still wasn’t very large, so I was glad I’d spent the little bit extra:

It did, however, have an amazing view of the South Atlantic Ocean:

Oh, and it also had a lovely beer garden right on site which brewed its own beers. Unfortunately, they weren’t very good…

Walking along the beach:

Local house in old german architecture:

Sunset over the jetty bridge:

Africa meets the South Atlantic Ocean waves:

Sunset from the jetty:

More old German architecture:

The Höhenzollernhaus – a 1904 baroque building that’s been during into condos:

Kücki’s Pub, location of tonight’s dinner. First thing that struck me: the staff switching back and forth between Afrikaans and German, with English clearly the third language. I actually didn’t know before this trip that more Namibians speak Afrikaans as a first language than English.

Determined to explore the deliciousness of African wildlife, started out with a springbok carpaccio:

Followed up with an oryx burger and a side of Spätzel:

The first of many malva puddings on this trip:

With that, it had been a long day so I walked back to the hotel and promptly crashed. Only to wake up at 12…and 1230, and 1, and 130….clearly something had gone off (most likely airplane lunch based on timing) and I was suffering one of the most violent cases of food poisoning I’d had in many years. Fortunately, around three o’clock, with nothing much left in my system I finally managed to get back to sleep, and prayed that I would feel well enough the next day to even consider the five+ hour drive ahead of me. I hoped so, or this trip was over before it even began….

May 212018
 


After landing in Johannesburg fortunately the passport queue wasn’t too long, and I was off to the hotel by the Gautrain. It might be a slight bit faster by Uber, and not much more expensive, but I feel like supporting the Gautrain is the right thing to do. Don’t ask why, it’s just one of those semi-rational things. Plus, environmentally more friendly?

You know it’s bad when you get to a hotel more than 13,000 km from home and the staff all know you like it’s been since yesterday when they last saw you….and in truth it’s only been a couple of months in reality. Quick check-in, and the first item on my agenda was a three hour nap. It was still early enough in the morning I didn’t feel like it would throw off my sleep schedule too much, and I know it would be a huge help with adjusting to the time change.

Nice and refreshed, I woke up and did a walk around the neighbourhood where the first stop was, of course, Starbucks for some “good morning juice.” Once again, sad, the staff all remembered me. I guess I’m just one of those memorable people… spend the rest of the afternoon just walking around Rosebank, Parktown, and Parkhurst, just to walk off the jetlag a bit and get the legs moving.

I did stop into the Pick’n Pay, and you know you’re in South Africa when there’s an entire huge case of boerewors….

To bed relatively early, and managed to sleep until 7am the next morning which was a Sunday, so great job of getting onto local time. Next stop was Starbucks, of course, where I can’t seem to escape the name the staff seems to remember me by…

While relaxing, I got a call from my client to make plans for Monday, and she insisted that i get out and explore the city a bit more. I’ve been coming here for over 20 years now, and while the city has changed I do feel like I stick primarily to the same areas. Little did I know that this would be the trip that would challenge a lot of those “usuals.”

Since it was Sunday, my client insisted I head down to Maboneng and check out the Sunday Market. Now, just on the east side of downtown Maboneng definitely used to be a “no-go zone” 10-15 years ago, but I decided that my client (who I trust completely after many meetings) knew better than anyone, so off I went. Short Uber ride, and by chance they dropped me right in front of Origin Coffee. How did they know I was still battling jetlag? Yup, quick iced coffee and I was set to explore…

Into the main market, and the stalls were very lively with delicious smells everywhere. It was going to be a really hard call what to choose for lunch!

Maybe some paella with fresh prawns?

In the end, being tired and not wanting to eat standing, I selected a small restaurant with outdoor seating where I could sit down and people watch while eating. Bottle of ginger beer, some boerewors in tomato sauce, and a bowl of biltong with chips. You can’t get much more stereotypically South African than that!

Just as I finished eating the skies opened up, and for the next hour it was a torrential downpour. Was a good excuse to have another beer and another coffee, and as it let up it was early evening and time to catch an Uber back to the hotel.

For anyone who finds themselves in Johannesburg on a Sunday, I highly recommend getting down to the Maboneng Market. As long as you’re even marginally travel savvy you’ll be fine, and get a great taste of how this amazing city is revitalizing. Now, time to work for a week before taking a well-deserved holiday…

May 162018
 


Soooo, off to Southern Africa again for work, this being the fourth trip in as many months. Despite it being a lot of travel, it’s good for the mileage balance, and each time has enabled me to explore slightly different ways of getting there. I know lots of people like the 1-stop flight on South African, but to me it’s just too long in a plane, and South African pulls way too many plane changes to risk getting the old seats.

My favourite route is pretty much via Europe with Lufthansa, but unfortunately this time the nonstop flight to Frankfurt was actually sold out when I went to book! Oh well, connecting in Europe it would be. There was space on the nonstop United flights, but I refuse to pay good money to sit in their absolutely horrid 2-4-2 configuration where you get to play twister with your seatmates to get to the aisle. No ma’am.

Yes, it was an upgradable fare, but there was no guarantee that would clear on United, so I went with the sure thing: a double connection in Europe where I could ensure the middle seat in United’s 2-1-2 configured 767s. Plus, there was a chance I would get “real” Polaris since there were now four of 24 or so planes configured. Unfortunately, no such luck. Right, on to the details you’re actually interested in.

Nobody in their right mind goes to the United Clubs at Dulles at mid afternoon international rush, heaving as they are with Chase credit card holders and more star alliance gold card holders than you can shake a stick at. Being familiar with the shuffle, I decided a stop by the Lufthansa Senator Lounge was in order first. Unfortunately, they’ve switched to serving terrible Prosecco, so I can’t imagine I’ll be going there much longer either. Disappointing.

Next off to Turkish Lounge almost right next door, but they were serving the same awful prosecco so I opted for a moderately ok glass of wine. What they lack for in booze they more than make up for in delicious baklava and turkish bread pudding. Don’t judge. I may have had more than one piece.

Next off to the famous Dulles “moon buggies” for a ride over to the D terminal, where my flight to Geneva was just getting ready to board. Somehow, there were no “gate lice” crowding the boarding lanes, and I was actually first in line just five minutes before boarding. Go figure. Just in time to hear a group of non-revs negotiating with their friend the gate agent and asking her “come on, can’t you move one person so we can sit together?” Ugh. Thankfully, the gate agent played by the rules.

United flight 974
Washington, DC, Dulles (IAD) to Geneva, Switzerland (GVA)
Depart 17:35, Arrive 07:40 next day, Flight Time: 8:05
Boeing 767-300, Registration N677UA, Manufactured 2001, Seat 1D
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 29,635
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,549,697

Sitting IN my seat when I boarded, but fortunately I was able to move it on top of my monitor. Yup, guess we have no shortage of amenity kits today!

Welcome abord Château l’Oscar 2018 dans plastique.

Meal service started out with, you guessed it, mixed warm nuts and a glass of wine for me. I asked for a flight to try the wines, and was told “they didn’t load them.” Hrumph. Good thing I didn’t ask about the bloody mary cart…

Appetizer of smoked duck with dried cranberries, pumpkin seeds, and mustard was almost good, but the duck just didn’t taste right. I give it an A for effort, but just didn’t quite get there. I don’t like that you don’t get to select your own bread anymore, but as the two they give you are my two favourite kinds, I forgive it. Oh, and the salad? One of the best I’ve had on United. Costs so little to improve it to this level I’m glad to see they’ve finally done it. Hopefully this is the new norm.

The five spice short rib and wasabi grits? Well, the short rib hasn’t changed in years, so that was predictable. I didn’t taste any wasabi in the grits, and the sauce on the short rib had absolutely no flavour. Disappointing. Some days this dish is actually pretty tasty home cooking, but not tonight unfortunately.

United gets a C on the cheese course this time. All I know for sure is it was “international” cheese. I’m going to guess a brie, blue, and what tasted like a poor imitation manchego. It’s better than the chedder and swiss they often try to pass off as international, however….

One ice cream sundae, hot fudge, no glass chips.

I was told I didn’t have the option to say no to breakfast, so it was brought to me. I intentionally didn’t sleep on the flight to stay on Washington time in an attempt to battle jetlag, and so far it was working well. Yes, I had a champagne breakfast, don’t judge me…I think it even shocked the crew. Pretty sure they’re not used to getting that request right before landing.

I had a 10 hour layover in Geneva before my connection to Frankfurt, and decided that’s when I would sleep. I tried a new website called www.dayuse.com which offered me a room at the Ibis Palexpo right next to the airport for a very reasonable rate.

Unfortunately, after immigration, I jumped on the shuttle to the WRONG Ibis, and ended up walking back to the correct one, about a 20 minute walk away. The walk was actually nice after being on a plane all night, and when I got there I was ready to crash. But, the room…like many European hotel rooms, was WAY too warm and of course there was no air conditioning since it was April, so I had the pleasure of sleeping in a 25C room. At least after a shower I was ready to completely peace out for five hours.

Overall impression of the hotel? The room was a small cube with barely enough room for the bed and a desk, but it was perfectly functional. This was supposedly the nicer of the two Ibis properties as well. That said, it was a bed, and it was functional for that. The lobby looked to be a bit of a refugee camp with people on long layovers, and lots of small children, but the room itself was quiet. If not for the heat, it would have been absolutely perfect….plus where else can you get a 79 franc room in Geneva for 10 hours?!

Checked out after a wonderful solid nap, well worth every penny, and back to the airport to enjoy the lounge a bit. But first, random snack at Starbucks. Not sure it’s a meal or what, but it was nearly $18…who said Geneva is expensive….

Overall lesson so far: this routing to South Africa works. Flight leaves DC too early to sleep for me, but gets to Geneva just in time that I want to sleep…and sleep came easily. The United 767 certainly isn’t cutting edge, but if you get one of the middle seats it’s not a bad product. Overall, I was happy with my choice, and it was time to head to Frankfurt now!

May 152018
 

So, I had yet another work trip to Johannesburg, and decided this time due to the way meetings feel that I would take a week of vacation in the middle. Original plan was to head to Namibia for 5 days, followed by two each in Zimbabwe and Botswana.

I was hoping to fly from Namibia to Zimbabwe on Air Namibia, and after a night in Harare fly down to Bulawayo on Air Zimbabwe. Unfortunately, between the planning phase Air Zimbabwe went from three working planes down to one, and it was dubious if this would work. Worst case, I figured, I would take a driver from Harare to Bulawayo and then catch the train from there into Botswana.

Flights ended up being:

Driving plan in Namibia was:

Of course, this is Africa, and nothing ever works out as planned. So, with this trip report, I’ll cover what actually DID happen, and take a post in the middle to do a short recap of what…didn’t.

So, in the realm of what did transpire:

1. DC to Geneva with United Fauxlaris and long layover in Geneva
2. Geneva to Johannesburg with Lufthansa in Business and First (incl Geneva Swiss First Lounge)
3. Few days in Johannesburg
4. Johannesburg to Walvis Bay with Air Namibia, overnight Swakopmund
5. Driving Swakopmund to Sesriem, overnight
6. Dunes, dunes, dunes, and overnight Moon Mountain
7. Moon Mountain to Windhoek, overnight Windhoek
8. What went wrong…and eventually Windhoek to JoBurg on British Airways
9. Few more unexpected days in Johannesburg
10. Johannesburg to DC with Lufthansa Business and United Polaris

So buckle up, the roads in Namibia are rough…