May 102016
 

Slept in a bit, and had one final walk around the town before getting ready to head to the airport. It was maybe a 90 second walk from my hotel to the terminal at Funafuti…the terminal which is huge:

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Went to the airport at 9:30 to check-in three hours before the flight as recommend, which was maybe a 90 second walk…if that. I was ticked off the list of passengers they had, they checked my bag, and I got to choose my seat from one of those sticker seatmaps. Then, I was asked to complete immigration…which took about 5 seconds. After immigration…we were free to go. Yes, we had technically left the country, but they didn’t care if we left the airport. To quote the immigration guy “small country, we can find you!” Hahaha, guess there’s not a big problem here with people getting stamped out of the country and then deciding not to leave…

My hotel had a 10a checkout policy, and I really didn’t want to wait around in the hot and sticky airport terminal for 2.5 hours. They offered 11a checkout for an extra 20 Australian dollars, and I was sold. Small price to pay for an hour of air conditioning!

Finally at 11, I walked over to the Hotel Filomena, which is right next to the terminal, and does a brisk business on its patio selling drinks to waiting passengers. Right beyond the patio fence, you see the runway:

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Plane arrived right on time, and we boarded about 20 minutes before scheduled takeoff. Quick boarding, and doors were closed 10 minutes early. Every seat was taken today, except the one next to me! Everything was going right this trip. It’s easier they said to take a full plane back to Fiji, since there are other diversion options near Suva.  However, if they get near Funafuti and can’t land, it requires going almost all the way back to Fiji!

Fiji Airways flight 280 – Operated by FijiLink
Funafuti, Tuvalu (FUN) to Suva, Fiji (SUV)
Depart 12:20, Arrive 14:50, Flight Time: 2:30
ATR 72-600, Registration DQ-FJZ, Manufactured 2014, Seat 1D
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 61,579
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,251,104

View just after takeoff of Funafuti Atoll. See the wide part on the “corner?” That’s where the airport and “city” of Funafuti are located:

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Full lunch offered, beef or chicken. Went with the beef, and it was surprisingly good!

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Landed in Suva right on time, and had a nearly three hour wait for my connection to Nadi. I decided since the Tuvalu jinx was now broken to hit the cafe in the Suva airport, and enjoy a slice of their now-famous chocolate cake. It was just as tasty as I remembered!

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Time actually passed rather quickly, and soon it was time to board the final leg.

Fiji Airways flight 18 – Operated by FijiLink
Suva, Fiji (SUV) to Nadi, Fiji (NAN)
Depart 18:00, Arrive 18:30, Flight Time: 30 minutes
ATR 42-600, Registration DQ-FJY, Manufactured 2014, Seat 2D
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 61,655
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,251,180

Boarding our ATR at twilight made for cool views of the plane:

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Nothing to say – very uneventful 30 minute flight. Sat next to a Fiji Airways employee and discussed the challenges they’ve had in the past and how they’re really working hard to overcome past problems. I have to say, my experience was night and day better compared to my previous attempt 18 months before, and it looks like Fiji Airways, formerly aka Air Hot Mess, might actually be improving!

Grabbed a taxi back to the Sheraton, where I had an incredibly honest driver who told me the fare was $25 when I asked him to confirm it was $30. It’s always nice getting honest taxi drivers!

The Sheraton, however, was a mess. The first room they gave me the AC didn’t work, and it took three visits from maintenance before they would admit it. All this time, I was also waiting for a room service menu in the room, since it didn’t have one, and it took them over an hour to bring it. Two hours after check-in, they finally agreed the AC would never work and reluctantly agreed to let me move rooms. The second room was perfect, and I have no idea why they were so reluctant.

Overall, this stay really left me with a sour taste in my mouth. There was no warmth or desire to help from the employees, and they acted as if they were being annoyed when you asked for things. To top it off, when I checked out it took 10 minutes of arguing about the rate despite me having a printed confirmation. Overall, while Fiji Airways seems to be well on the road to improvement the Sheraton is definitely going the other direction. Next time, I would definitely look elsewhere on Denarau.

I’d originally planned three nights in Fiji in case I had to try to go to Tuvalu a second or third try, but since I made it on the first I cut my stay in Fiji short and instead of heading directly to Hong Kong, I decided to head to Sydney for a couple days in between. Next up: Nadi to Sydney on the Fiji Airways A330.

May 092016
 

So, this was it. The whole reason for this trip – my second attempt at making it to Tuvalu. If it didn’t work out this time, I was faced with trying to make an immediate out and back on Thursday since the flight only goes twice a week. I’m not sure why I had such fear of this flight, but given how Fiji Airways behaved last time I tried to get there, I feel like the worry is justified.

I had arranged a cab with the Sheraton the night before, and of course when I got to the front desk to check out at 6am it was nowhere to be found. They did manage to scare one up around 615, however, and I was still at the airport nearly an hour before the flight. The Fiji Airways domestic terminal in Nadi is extremely small, so arriving 45 minutes before the flight is absolutely no problem at all – as long as nothing goes wrong! You can only get seat assignments at check-in, but let’s be honest on these little regional planes seats are the same anyways.

I saw we had the ATR72 this morning, which supposedly has two rows of “business class.” It’s the exact same seats as economy, and on domestic flights they’re the last to be given away. I had to ask really nicely and point out that I had booked business class on the onwards flight, and they reluctantly ended up giving me 1A.

Fiji Airways flight 7 – Operated by FijiLink
Nadi, Fiji (NAN) to Suva, Fiji (SUV)
Depart 7:30, Arrive 8:00, Flight Time: 30 minutes
ATR 72-600, Registration DQ-FJZ, Manufactured 2014, Seat 1A
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 60,267
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,249,792

Small bottle of water handed out to all passengers right before takeoff, and not much else to say for the 25 minute flight. I was the only one in the eight seats up front, and got to chat with the flight attendant a bit. Seems a typical day for this plane (and crew) on Tuesday and Thursday is go to Suva-Nadi-Suva-Funafuti-Suva. That was good news, since if you get on the plane out of Nadi apparently you know your plane has arrived to leave for Tuvalu too!

Upon arrival went back to the check-in counter, as they can’t do check-in for the Tuvalu flight from Nadi. Met the same agent that had worked there last time I tried this, and sure assured me the flight was just fine, and would be on time today. I was less optimistic given past performance, but hey, at least the plane and crew were there…

Fiji Airways flight 281 – Operated by FijiLink
Suva, Fiji (SUV) to Funafuti, Tuvalu (FUN)
Depart 9:00, Arrive 11:35, Flight Time: 2:35
ATR 72-600, Registration DQ-FJZ, Manufactured 2014, Seat 1D
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 60,923
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,250,488

Small bit of drama, however. It seemed that there was “quite some weather en route” so they were going to have to offload 18 passengers. Priority was given to business class and Tuvaluans returning home, so I have no idea how they chose which 18 would not be able to go. Despite that, boarding was on time, the door closed 10 minutes before departure time, and soon we were taxiing for takeoff! About 20 seats empty in coach and we were only four of eight in business, meaning I had an empty seat next to me.

Breakfast was offered – french toast or omelette. Nothing super fancy, but definite the fanciest I’ve ever had on a prop plane:

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Flight time was nearly 2.5 hour, and soon we had our first views of Funafuti Atoll and we were descending into my 192nd country visited! Of course deplaning was via the plane stairs (seriously, jetways in a country that only gets two flights a week?) and I was there! One room airport building, where agents were stamping passports on a card table:

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The plane that finally got me to Tuvalu:

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There was a van waiting from my hotel, the Hotel Vaiaku Lagi, said to really be the only hotel of any standards at all in Tuvalu – with a whole 16 rooms. I don’t know why we needed to take a van as the hotel is literally a 90 second walk from the terminal, but it is what it is! More on that when I leave…checked in, was assured I was (as requested when I booked) given the room with the absolute best air conditioning out of the 16. Super fancy 1.5 star room, complete with a vase of flowers:

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It was clean, moderately comfortable, and the AC was arctic. Overall, I was pleased. It wasn’t cheap at nearly $100 a night, but for being clean, cool, and safe I wasn’t about to complain. I checked out a couple of the guesthouses in town, and they were pretty grim. No way they even qualify as 0.5 stars….

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By the time I checked in, it was just after noon, and when I asked the desk agent for suggestions on places to see she laughed at me. Seems from about 12-4 is time for what they call “Pacific Exercise” in Tuvalu, where basically people lay around and hide from the fierce afternoon heat and humidity. I joined the other 15 guests in the hotel restaurant, where there were three lunch options: chicken chow mein, stir fried prawns, or ham and cheese sandwich. I decided the sandwich was safest, but ham apparently means Spam! Mmmm grilled spam and cheese:

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As it started to get reasonably cooler, I headed out to Tuvalu Telecom to buy a wifi access card. It took four trips back to get it to work, because even when you scratch off the code the number/password are pretty much illegible. Hooray for high-quality Chinese manufacturing. Eventually it worked, and it was just fast enough to read some emails and check facebook…kinda.

I decided then to head for a walk. Down the main road in Funafuti, which other than a three “block” stretch is all residential like this:

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Then, I headed over to the airport runway, which is the hub of social activity for about an hour before sunset. It’s the one time of day it’s not too hot to be outside, and since the runway is the biggest stretch of open land in the whole country it’s used for hanging out and recreation, and some families even SLEEP on the runway at night because there’s a reasonable breeze!

Kids playing football behind me on the runway:

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Back to the hotel, and again for dinner there were three choices. I went for the grilled tuna steak, and it was actually phenomenal…and hey, frozen veggies are better than none at all!

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Slept in a little bit, and headed out for a morning walk before it got too hot again. A block from my hotel, and next to the airport, was the central government building. I’d heard it was possible to just walk in, so I did. Security wasn’t a concept, and of all people I ended up meeting the Prime Minister! I was so surprised by actually meeting him I didn’t think to ask if I could take a picture, but I told him why I was in Tuvalu and he seemed super pleased and impressed with the story!

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Continued my walk down a residential road, and politics, Tuvalu-style:

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Tuvalu House, which I believe might be the residence of the Prime Minister?

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Next stop was the post office to buy stamps. Yes, they were able to sell them, but seemed completely uninterested in doing any work. I guess there’s not much call for stamps in Tuvalu. They had lots of commemorative ones, as well as post cards, so I bought some to send to family and friends. There’s not too much to do in Tuvalu, so writing postcards would be a nice diversion. Hundreds of commemorative stamps on sale all at face value. Some of the more interesting ones:

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The super-fancy Tuvalu Post office:

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Just down the street was the Tuvalu National Library and Archives. Please take off your flip flops when entering:

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Went back to my hotel and wrote postcards, then a walk back to the post office to mail them. They promised the would go on tomorrow’s flight…or maybe next week if the plane is full. We will see if they ever arrive!

Back to the hotel for lunch and Pacific Exercise. “Chili Chicken” was the lunch of the day, and it was reasonable. All the meals were between six and eight US dollars plus drinks, so extremely cheap, and reasonably large portions. Pacific Exercise takes lots of energy!

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After exercising (aka reading in a hammock and napping) I went for another walk. Tuvalu Telecom, where you go to buy wifi cards:

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Then on the other side of the runway, I found the Tuvalu Sports Ground, where a rugby game was in progress:

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For a little “real” exercise, I took a walk down the entire length of the runway:

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On the way back to the hotel, I passed the Development Bank of Tuvalu. Maybe I should apply for a job…

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Sunset from the coral “beach” behind my hotel:

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Another shot of the “beach” where land reclamation is underway. Considering the whole country is eight feet above sea level I’m not sure the point of doing reclamation when the whole country is projected to be underwater by 2050 thanks to climate change:

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Back to the hotel, where tonight’s dinner was “stir fry chicken.” Again, reasonable.

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With that, it was time to head to bed and pray my plane would arrive in the morning to take me home. Tuvalu was pretty much exactly what I expected, maybe even a slight bit smaller. You can see everything there is to “see” in a couple of hours, so bring plenty of things to read and plan on doing relaxing. It was actually quite nice to have the downtime without the pressure of having to be go go go and see things.

Two days was the perfect amount of time in Tuvalu – I think the only other option would be two or more weeks so you could try and get a boat to some of the outer islands (where there are no hotels) and spend some time seeing really authentic rural life and villages. Now, will the plane come back…

Nov 172014
 

Up nice and early once again, for what was becoming the all-too-familiar routine of flying to Suva in order to catch the flight to Funafuti. No drama with the taxi, and left my bags in the room at the Sheraton since it was just going to be a day trip.

Got to Nadi, and chatted with the counter agent. Yes, he had my reservation, and yes, I was on the 8:45 flight to Funafuti. However, he was “unable” to see what time they had scheduled the second return flight for, so I had no idea how many hours I’d get to spend in Tuvalu. Anyways, I’d come all this distance, I was going to get there!

Fiji Airways Flight 7
Nadi, Fiji (NAN) to Suva, Fiji (SUV)
Depart 7:30, Arrive 8:00, Flight Time 30 minutes
Aerospatiale ATR 42-500, Registration DQ-PSB Manufactured 1997, Seat 6F

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Another packed flight to Suva, but right on time, and actually arrived a few minutes before schedule. No checked bags, so went straight out into arrivals and found the Air Fiji check-in desk to check in for the continuation to Funafuti.

Well…that’s funny…why is there nobody at the check in counter 45 minutes before the flight?

After a few minutes, an agent came out, and said…”oh, didn’t anybody call you? The flight has been delayed until 4pm today.” Um no, wait, surely there must be a misunderstanding. I’m on the first flight this morning, and I’ll be taking the later flight back. “Oh there is only one flight today. They combined both flights onto a bigger ATR-72 and it will be going at 4pm this afternoon.”

YOU. MUST. BE. KIDDING.

After all the times I called, all the assurances I’d received, nobody bothered to contact me and tell me the plans had changed. On top of assurances there would be two flights, on top of things seeming fine at check-in in Nadi, they had made this decision the night before. So many opportunities to let me know. But no, they had to fly me back to Suva first, and then tell me. Amazing. Well, it looked like I would have a 60 minute turnaround in Funafuti anyways, and the airport is so small that there was a good chance I could get my passport stamp, leave the airport for 15 minutes and see a bit of the town, then turn right around.

The other good news, is the ATR-72 would then come back and do the last Suva-Nadi flight late at night, so I could even get back to Nadi around midnight. Ugh. I guess it’s worth it.

Well, while you wait eight hours for your flight, may we provide you the Suva Special Delayed Passenger meal of chocolate cake and Diet Coke?

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After an hour of sitting and eating cake, decided to head up to the counter. With an 8 hour delay I figured they might spring for a hotel or something for me to rest at for a few hours. Got to the counter, where a group of Chinese tourists were entertaining themselves by stepping on the scale and seeing who weight more than their baggage. They were hugely entertained by this for some reason.

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Got to the counter to ask about a hotel. “Oh, there is some more news. The ATR pilots will not be rested enough, so will not be flying back to Nadi tonight. But don’t worry, whenever you land we will arrange a shared bus back to Nadi.” Um, what time are we expected back in Suva? “Around 11pm, maybe 11:30.” Isn’t it three hours back to Nadi? “Maybe 10 minutes less at that hour. So you’re telling me I get to wait here another 7 hours, you won’t pay for a hotel, then I get to fly to Tuvalu for a 15 minute stop, come back here, take the bus, and if I’m lucky I’ll be in bed by 3:30am when I just got up at 5am.

As I looked down to ponder my fate, the biggest cockroach I’ve ever seen scurried by. I’d place it at around 4.5-5 cm in length. It summed up my feelings towards Fiji Airways perfectly at this point:

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Needless to say, I cut my losses. The Fiji-Tuvalu ticket alone was nearly $1000 (there are no through fares available) and it just felt like a waste. Purchased in advance it’s about $650, and who knows if I start planning another attempt a year out maybe I can even get it with miles.

I decided to say to hell with it, and head back to Nadi after being promised despite two Nadi-Suva roundtrips I would get a full refund.

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Fiji Airways Flight 10
Suva, Fiji (SUV) to Nadi, Fiji (NAN)
Depart 10:50, Arrive 11:20, Flight Time 30 minutes
Aerospatiale ATR 42-500, Registration DQ-PSB Manufactured 1997, Seat 11F

I paged through the Fiji Airways magazine. The President of Fiji Link had a very nice article about how their new ATR would improve things including reliability. PSYCH! JUST KIDDING. Shaenaz will be getting a letter from me, telling me her staff are crazy friendly and do their best to help despite being given nothing to work with. They also need a huge course in communication. Maybe I’ll offer some consulting services in exchange for a trip to Tuvalu…

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Back to Nadi, where I went straight to the Fiji Airways ticketing office, and after about 30 minutes they had processed a full refund. Of course, there’s no sign of it on my credit card yet, but I have a refund number and a promise. I mean, Fiji Airways always keeps its promises so I have absolutely no doubt things will be just peachy…

Decided to cab it straight from the airport to Denarau Port, and grab lunch. At least I had a relaxing afternoon, and weather was great:

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Lunch was followed up by pool time, and another gorgeous Fiji sunset. One note to anyone booking SPG stays in Fiji: the views of sunset from the Westin are meh, but the Sheraton’s pool area has amazing sunsets:

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Another unexpected bonus was another dinner in Fiji. The incredibly friendly waitress at Chime Bar at the Sheraton shared with me a great Fijian restaurant at the Port, so I headed to Nandina Fijian to give it a try for dinner. How can a restaurant with a drink called the “Baby Maker’ be bad? It’s almost as promising as the “Naughty and Pregnant” I had in St Kitts this summer.

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Starter of Kokoda, a kind of FIjian ceviche of raw fish in coconut broth. It was absolutely amazing:

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Since I’ve bored everyone with a thousand sunsets, here’s a moonrise during dinner:

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Main course of octopus in a coconut curry broth. Absolutely amazing, with huge amounts of octopus:

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Trio of deserts, bananas in fijian rum, a chocolate cake, and vanilla ice cream. How could you go wrong!

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Up early the next morning to catch the flight to Vanuatu. Wait, Vanuatu? Why am I going to Vanuatu? I’ve already been there…I’m supposed to be going to the Solomon Islands.

Stay tuned for Chapter Three in the continuing saga of AIR MESS aka AIR MAYBE aka Air Pacific aka Air Pathetic aka Fiji Airways!

Walking to the check-out area, one last Fiji beach shot. The beach chapel at the Sheraton:

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Off to Nadi Airport!

Nov 142014
 

A few weeks ago when I booked this ticket, there were two flights from Nadi to Suva that would connect to the Funafuti flight. One left at 6:30 and the other left at 7:30. The 7:30 gave only about one hour to connect in Suva, and not knowing how big that airport was I wasn’t willing to risk it. Remember, I’d heard Fiji Airways was a nightmare, so I figured sacrificing an hour of sleep to the travel Gods in order to ensure my flight was drama free was a small price to pay.

The night before, when I was on the Bula Bus headed to dinner, my phone rang. “Unknown Caller” was calling me, so I sent it to voicemail. Whee, $3 down the drain. I checked the message shortly after, and guess who? Fiji Airways. Seems my flight had been retimed from 7:30 to 7:00. Um, my flight leaves at 6:30? WTF. I opted to get to the airport at 5:30 in time for the 6:30 just in case.

Got to check-in, and my flight, flight 3 was nowhere to be found on the departure monitors. However, flight 7, the 7:30 departure was there, but with a time of 7:00. Yes, turns out they’d canceled one of the flights and consolidated everyone onto one plane halfway in between times. Ok, that’s not major drama. They only could check me in to Suva, but assured me the airport was small and I would have plenty of time to check in for my flight to Funafuti. Ok, fair enough.

Fiji Airways Flight 7
Nadi, Fiji (NAN) to Suva, Fiji (SUV)
Depart 7:00, Arrive 7:30, Flight Time 30 minutes
Aerospatiale ATR 42-500, Registration DQ-PSB Manufactured 1997, Seat 12A

We boarded via a walk to the plane (finally) at 7:15, and ended up taking off at 7:30 for an 8:00 arrival. Flight time was a grand total of 22 minutes in the air, but due to clouds there was nothing to see. A small moist towel and bottle of water was passed out to each passenger on the completely full flight, and newspapers were offered as well. Rather impressive for just 22 minutes!

Waited about 10 minutes for my bag to come onto the baggage belt, but managed to check in by 8:05 for my 8:45 flight. Except it was no longer an 8:45 flight…it was now “expected” to leave at 10:30. Uh, ok. It would be the same plane that just brought us from Nadi, but it had to do another trip back to Nadi first. Bags were tagged, and despite the small delays, the bags were at least, um, “having fun.” (Yes, bad joke, deal with it!)

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With over two hours to kill now, and having not had breakfast, I went to the one cafe in the check-in area to get something to eat. It was rather tasty, and a grand total of about $4, most of which was the Diet Coke.

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About 9:45 they called everyone over the intercom, and told us to proceed through immigration and security. Shortly after that, we saw the plan arrive outside at about 10:00 and looked like we might actually get out of there by 10:30 or so. As a side note, I also purchased a couple bottles of wine in Duty Free, figuring there wouldn’t be too much to do during the evenings in Tuvalu, so wine and movies on the iPad would be a good way to pass some time. Make note of this detail, it will come back…

10:30 came, 10:30 went. The plane was still sitting there, as were we. At 11, an agent came over the intercom. There was a “technical situation” with the plane, and they hoped to depart now at approximately 12. Hmm…ok.  Around 11:45, we saw the crew get off the plane, get their bags, head towards the waiting area…see the angry mob, and then head another direction. At this point, I’d started chatting to an Australian couple who live in Tuvalu. We all agreed that the departure of the crew was likely not a good sign. They said there are three flights a week, or 12-13 a month, and maybe 1-2 times a month there’s serious drama with this flight. Ugh, ok.

Shortly after noon, the Fiji Airways agent walked into the departures lounge and announced she was sorry for the delay. They will be providing drinks and snacks shortly. One rather surley Australian guy demanded beer. She said she’d see what she could do. About 10 minutes later, she came back. “Your snacks, including your beer sir, will be here shortly. But unfortunately, once they arrive, you will need to go back through immigration. The flight is being canceled.” Uhhh, WHAT.

She “wasn’t sure” when we would be able to go to Tuvalu, as the next flight was in two days and it was completely sold out. Um, ok. But don’t worry she said, they will add a second flight. Maybe even tomorrow, but certainly in two days. No clue what time, but after you go through immigration and security they will take you to a hotel for the next couple of days. Several of the Tuvaluans on the flight actually cheered. I guess two days in Fiji with your hotel and meals paid was an unexpected bonus for them. (Later, the agent told me this is due to the fact the flight often cancels, and when it does the local working girls find out about it and do a brisk business proving “entertainment” at the hotel.)

We were informed that due to our duty free (remember those two bottles of wine?) being “illegal” customs would hold onto it until we left in a couple of days. I figured I’d never see it again – we didn’t get a receipt. I figured there would be a giant customs party that night. Checked my wine, back through immigration to have my departure stamp canceled, and to the check-in counter to see about getting that flight back to Nadi.

Rather than spend two nights in the No-Tell Motel, where you can check out any time you like (but you can never leave) I asked them to send me back to Nadi and I’d take care of my own accommodations. They resisted. I convinced them that me taking up an empty seat would cost Fiji Airways less than two nights hotel plus meals. They finally agreed. They promised they would e-mail or call me with the new flight time. I wrote down my e-mail and phone number.

In three days, I was headed to Vanuatu so going to Tuvalu in 2 days and coming back in 4 wouldn’t be an option. I told her if they did end up operating two flights that Thursday, and they were reasonably spaced out, I would go to Tuvalu for 4 or 5 hours, have lunch, then come right back. She thought this was crazy, but certainly doable. At least I got my bag back. I modified the bag tag accordingly:

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A few minutes later, I got a message from Fiji Airways:

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I was provided with a food voucher for the airport snack shop while I waited for my flight back to Nadi. Best thing about Fiji Airways, when they cancel your flight you get cake. Chocolate cake. Delicious chocolate cake!

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Back through security, and time to board my flight back to Nadi:

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Load was light, maybe 15 total passengers for this mid-afternoon flight.

Fiji Airways Flight 12
Suva, Fiji (SUV) to Nadi, Fiji (NAN)
Depart 14:00, Arrive 14:30, Flight Time 30 minutes
Aerospatiale ATR 42-600, Registration DQ-FJY Manufactured 1997, Seat 12A

Wow things were looking up, a brand new plane which had only been delivered to Fiji Airways just a month prior. Quick 24 minute flight, same water/towel/newspaper service as the way over to Suva, and we were back in Nadi. Bags showed up in just a couple minutes, and I decided to head to the Fiji Airways reservations office to make sure they understand my plans. Yes yes, they did. The agent in Nadi even called Suva, they promised to get in touch with me with the new details. Key words:

“Just show up at 6:30 on Thursday, come to Suva, and we will take care of you. You will get to spend a few hours in Tuvalu. We will make sure it happens.”

Famous last words.