United | Jason Around the World

2015 Travel Plans…and the Quest for Status

Mar 072015

So, earlier this year United made two changes to its Mileage Plus program which I consider fairly major. The first is that they raised the qualifying requirement for 1K status from 100,000 qualifying miles and $10,000 to 100,000 qualifying miles and $12,000. Now, $2,000 is plenty of money on its own, but 20% is semi-ridiculous when you consider it’s nearly seven times the rate of inflation. Couple this with the fact that this year I’m checking off many more obscure countries…which will be harder to use United tickets to…and I really wasn’t sure it was worth another year of pursuing status.

The other major change was the way miles are earned. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re rewarding your “best” customers this is the way to do it, but I think they have the multiplier wrong. It’s now based on a combination of how much you spend and your status. Unfortunately, unless you’re buying tickets that cost approximately 18 cents per mile as a 1K, you won’t break even. Now, you need to pay 12 cents per mile to get your 100,000 / $12,000 qualifying, so do the math. It’s a major downgrade.

Then, there was the “London mistake fare.” Yes, it was too good to be true. You can debate if it was unethical. But United outsourced some web coding, resulting in a mistaken exchange rate being used on its website. To me, the lesson to take away from this is if United screws up they can refuse to honour it, while if I screw up…too bad. Pay the change fee, and that’s your option. The game has gotten much less fun, and the airline clearly holds the upper hand…in most cases.

Add to this the fact I became a United million miler a couple years ago, meaning United Gold status for life, and the incremental benefits of 1K are free redeposit of award tickets, a few more miles, and priority free upgrades domestically, which I haven’t seen in over three years. If I want first domestically now I pay for it, because I just never get it.

So, in summary, I just didn’t see a point in 1K status anymore. I resolved to get some new experiences, fly whoever had the best discounted business fares, and just be happy with that.

Then, the shoe dropped…or should I say the wrench got thrown in the plans.

It’s looking like some Transpacific work travel will be coming up, for which our preferred carrier is United. That should likely get me at least halfway to the qualifying miles/dollars targets, making it much more attractive to consider it. Combine that with the fact I’m off to Turkmenistan this September, and there’s some very attractive D fares (business that can be upgraded to first with certificates) back to the US, and it puts me within mileage running distance. Ugh!

So, thoughts? What are others doing about for 2016 status?

I had almost nothing booked a month ago, but now my tentative plans for 2015 look like this. All tentative of course, but:

…over 100,000 miles already planned for the rest of the year, with more likely to come. No rest for the weary!

Entebbe to Washington, DC in Ethiopian Business and Lufthansa First

Airports, East Africa 2015, First Class, Flights 2 Responses »

Feb 222015

Up early and one last breakfast in the executive lounge. I still wasn’t feeling so hot, and it was a gorgeous sunny day so rather than run around and get myself any sicker I decided to spend a couple hours relaxing by the pool and taking it easy. Shot of the pool from earlier:

Grabbed a light lunch in the hotel cafe/bar after the pool, and got things packed up and ready to go. Before leaving, I decided to head down to the Executive Lounge for a double espresso. The lounge was on the 10th floor, and I was on the 12th. Grabbed the espresso to go, and was waiting for the lift back up to 12, and noticed a guy standing near the elevator who had that distinct security look about him. Tried to make small talk, and he was having none of it, which only confirmed my suspicions.

Then, the elevator door opened, and emerging in all his glory was the President of Uganda – Yoweri Musevini – wearing full academic regalia / PhD robes…hat and all. Didn’t even know the guy had a PhD, but apparently according to Wikipedia he’s got at least six of them, hah. I have no idea what he was doing in the sheraton, much less in academic regalia, but I guess that will remain a mystery for the ages. If you’ve read my earlier blogs this is my second presidential encounter in hotel elevators in the last four months, the previous being President Xi of China in an Auckland Hotel elevator. It was beginning to seem a rather strange coincidence!

Traffic on the way to the airport was absolutely horrid, and it took nearly two hours to reach the airport. I’d planned on two and a half hours worst case so it wasn’t a big deal, but was still annoying. Check-in and immigration were a piece of cake, and soon I was in the business lounge which featured an actual waterfall. Pretty sure that’s an airport first!

Boarding was a long walk along the tarmac to our plane:

Ethiopian flight 331
Entebbe, Uganda (EBB) to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia (ADD)
Depart 18:20, Arrive 20:25, Flight Time 2:05
Boeing 737-800, Registration ET-ARD, Manufactured 2007, Seat 2C

Ugh, Ethiopian…your planes are even rattier than United’s:

What a…cute…little amenity kit. Pre-flight beverages were water or orange juice.

Flight was only booked to 8/16 in business, but at the last moment the last eight seats filled up with folks that were clearly local important types. No idea what was going on, and it was a rather full flight so it’s possible they just upgraded people with status or something, but based on how rude they were I’m pretty sure they were DYKWIA types that Ethiopian staff upgraded for whatever reason. My seatmate, fortunately wasn’t bad….except for taking his shoes off and putting his bare feet on the seat in front of him. Gross.

The meal was, however, quite tasty for a two hour meal. Choices were fish or beef, so I went with the beef option. It could have been warmer, but I ate about half of it, which considering being sick was pretty good:

DC to Lake Malawi in United First and South African Business

Airports, Business Class, East Africa 2015, First Class, Flights, United Kingdom 2 Responses »

Feb 032015

After a rather long day at work it was off to Dulles Airport to begin the long trek to Malawi. Uneventful ride on the metro (the new silver line seriously makes the trek out to Dulles so much less painful since I live across the street from the station) and soon I was upstairs to check-in. Dulles was a ghost town for some reason, and check-in and TSA took no time at all, and soon I was “enjoying” the United Global First Lounge. Bubbles? Don’t mind if I do!

Had about an hour in the lounge where I caught up on work e-mails since I’d been out of the office all day, had a few glasses of bubbles and some shrimp cocktail, and right on time it was time to board the flight to London.

United flight 924
Washington DC, Dulles (IAD) to London, Heathrow (LHR)
Depart 22:00, Arrive 10:15, Flight Time 7:15
Boeing 777, Registration N778UA, Manufactured 1996, Seat 2K

I was sort of excited for this flight, since I used to be a regular on it. For about three years I was on this flight roughly twice a month commuting back and forth to London, almost always on Thursday nights. I hadn’t been on it in three years, so was looking forward to seeing if some of the London-based crews I’d gotten to know well were still working it. Unfortunately, no, it’s crewed by DC-based crews now but still promised to be a nice flight.

Until….I found out my seat had two broken storage compartments. The purser verified there were only three passengers tonight, so told me to move from 1K back to 2K. No problem at all…until four nonrevs showed up. It started with “that’s my assigned seat.” So, I told her my seat was broken, and the purser had authorized me to move so they should take it up with her. “No, you must take your assigned seat!”

So, I paged the purser….who told them to sort it out and take whatever seats were left – they were not to disturb revenue passengers. It was two groups of two, two of whom were on buddy passes. The nasty lady who was ordering me to move then tried to pin it on the other two. Ugh. Eventually the purser paged the gate agent to scold them….the gate agent came back, and told the buddy pass riders they’d have to get off the plane for violating rules…so, I had to step in. Ugh. Majorly uncomfortable. I literally couldn’t believe how aggressively this woman was fighting to sit next to her companion. Finally, I looked right at her and said “you should be thankful you’re even in first, I can’t believe you’re arguing this.” Her response? “Our benefits are negotiated and I know I’m entitled to my assigned seat!” Sigh. Eventually, they were told to sit down, shut up for the duration of the flight, or be offloaded…and we pushed back.

Welcome aboard class of Jeff Cliquot in the always-classy plastic flute. Number one of two the awesome purser brought me to tolerate the nonsense going on around me.

Pushback….bins still open…and STAYED open during takeoff. That’s the offender in the blue shirt

Sundae bloody Sundaes…a 2014 United Year in Review

Business Class, Year in Review No Responses »

Jan 162015

So now that I’ve done the real year in review, it’s time to explore what many people consider the best part of the United international experience. Given just how much below industry standards United’s food and drink generally are, people often wonder if it’s worth it. Lots of folks think the best part of the United international experience is the ice cream sundae cart.

Is it anything special? Absolutely not. But hey, who doesn’t like ice cream? So, I present, the 2014 United Airlines Ice Cream Year in Review!

January – Lisbon, Portugal to Newark. This was ice cream soup with a bit of caramel and a few drowning cherries. Really rather sad. The crew even stole all the stems from the cherries.

February – Houston to Honolulu – this was an odd one. The ice cream was rock hard, but part of it was completely soupy. Caramel again.

February – Honolulu to Washington Dulles – what’s that, caramel AGAIN? …and LOTS of caramel. Just three cherries again though (this must be the United standard) but perfectly lined up in a row:

August – San Francisco to Honolulu – alert Jeff, we’re missing a cherry! Only two today, but for some reason I decided variety is the spice of life and switched to hot fudge instead.

August – Honolulu to Washington Dulles. Whew. Back to three cherries and caramel. I was getting concerned.

August – Washington Dulles to Paris – whoah, what’s this. Caramel AND chocolate…and only two cherries. Yet, much of the ice cream has no topping at all!

August – Paris to San Francisco – swimming in a sea of caramel and chocolate is one lonely cherry. Apparently there’s a cherry shortage in Paris.

August – San Francisco to Honolulu – just chocolate…and one cherry. The Shortage might be a San Francisco thing. Lots of chocolate, but very little ice cream.

August – San Francisco to Honolulu – same flight, but I decided to experiment. I’ve never had the strawberry topping, so decided to see what it was about. Apparently not about cherries, because there were none in sight.

October – Tokyo to Singapore – whoah, what’s this ceramic thing? You can’t serve ice cream in that. Plus, what’s that white stuff…I don’t “do” whipped cream. Hmmm….pretty sure I still ate it

November – Frankfurt to Dulles – ice cream soup again…caramel and chocolate, but segregation was in full effect, plus the three neutered cherries.

November – Newark to Tel Aviv – whoah, seriously? I struggle all year to get my three cherries I’m due on my sundaes and then you go all wild and give me 10? I mean come on…that’s a lot of caramel and cherries!

December – Zurich to Newark – four cherries and caramel. I have a theory. It’s year-end. United bought too many cherries and is now desperately trying to get rid of them.

December – Dulles to Amsterdam – well that was short-lived. Back to chocolate and only two cherries. So disappointing.

December – Frankfurt to Dulles – if it’s December, it much be two cherries.

2014 summary: I ate lots of ice cream. I got fat. It was anywhere from soupy to rock hard. I tend to switch from caramel to chocolate, but occasionally go wild and have some strawberries. What does it all mean? Who’s to say…there was the one-off intrusion of whipped cream, but fortunately the nuts stayed away. That would have been problems.

Asking for “cherries” yields three most often, and sometimes two. Once in a wild, they go nuts and throw the whole mess on there. It’s really hard to say.

Peace, love, and ice cream in 2015 to you…

Washington to Beirut, Lebanon with United and Lufthansa

Airports, Business Class, Israel, Lebanon, South Pacific Tour 2014 6 Responses »

Dec 302014

Soooo catching up. I landed from Israel (via Zurich and Newark) on Tuesday late afternoon. My productivity in the next 48 hours would be stunning. Two days of work. Several loads of laundry. Two hockey games (won both – woooo). Oh, and I had to plan the last part of this trip. Yes, this trip was so complex (five weeks in the south pacific, nearly a week in israel, then a few days in Lebanon) that I hadn’t even thought what I would do with my approximately 48 hours in Lebanon. Planning accomplished. It was exhausting 48 hours, but the end was in sight!

I had tried hard to stay on European/Middle Eastern time my 48 hours in DC, but 10pm hockey games have a way of derailing that. Especially since that means 12:30 to bed best case. However, I made a point to get up both days at 5am. My theory was better to run on less less than to be at a point where I would be groggy until early afternoon once I got to my destination. So, up at 5am, work from 6-3, and I was off to Dulles. I absolutely love the new Silver Line and how easy it makes it to do a straight shot from downtown DC to Dulles in 45 minutes plus a 15 minute bus ride.

Pre-check was a breeze, and soon I was enjoying a glass of Château le Jeff and some delicious Tillamook cheese in the United club with my favourite bartenders.

So, why Amsterdam? It’s a fair question. First, it was the only routing where an upgrade would confirm with a systemwide upgrade at the time of booking. Secondly, the 18:30 departure gave me an extra hour over the other options. Third, it also meant I wouldn’t be sitting in Frankfurt for 6+ hours between flights. Oh, and fourth, I’d never flown the IAD-AMS route in all my years with United. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Time to board!

United flight 946
Washington DC, Dulles (IAD) to Amsterdam, Netherlands (AMS)
Depart 18:30, Arrive 8:05 next morning, Flight Time 7:35
Boeing 767-300, Registration N647UA, Manufactured 1992, Seat 7H

Boarded, and had a really weird feeling….oh yeah, it’s seat 7H, the same seat I was in 48 hours prior flying from Zurich to Newark. Hahah, at least I knew what to expect in theory.

So, what’s for teh nomz tonight?

Expectations were low after the flight a couple of days ago, and hey, things couldn’t get any worse. When my flight attendant saw this:

…at least a refill was offered. Refills on PDBs are always welcome – and a pleasant surprise when they happen. My seatmate was an interesting fellow who I chatted with for about five minutes during boarding, he was impressed with the approximately 50 words of Dutch I speak, and then we minded our own business for the rest of the flight. Can’t complain there!

Once in the air, service was quick, and it was time for more Château le Jeff and some split cashew parts:

Now, I give United a hard time for this all the time, thinking how much can this really save to serve cashew pieces instead of whole cashews. Then, a few days ago, I was visiting the fam in Minnesota over Christmas, and finally found the perfect comparison:

Yes, you see that right, Cashew Halves and Pieces are $3.50 a pound and Whole Cashews are $6.65 a pound. So, United is saving at least $3.15 a pound on Cashews. In fairness, Fleet Farm is a discount farm supply store and has pretty low nut prices in general, but I imagine in bulk United saves even more. So, at a minimum of $3.15 a pound in savings, lets assume they serve only two pounds per flight ($6.30) and they have approximately 250 flights a day with nut service ($1985) and 365 days a year that’s over $724,000. Wow, that’s not peanuts!

(See what I did there? Peanuts? Cashews)

Anyways, tastes the same, savings are real, blah blah, moving on…the salad was tasty, but yet another embarrassing appetizer. Seriously United, these are terrible…it can’t be that much more expensive to notch it up just a little. One little slice of tuna. Sheesh. What does that cost United, maybe a dollar? Give me a freaking McDonalds Cheeseburger, it’s the same price and I’d like it more!

The short rib, however, was quite tasty, and worthy of finishing. I never get it…the vegetables on United are almost always pretty good, but that’s it. Who knows!

Cheese plate #1 of 2. Seconds requested, and happily provided. This crew was a huge contrast to my Zurich-Newark crew 48 hours prior. They were cheerful, helpful, kept the refills flowing and gave a genuinely nice atmosphere. It really does prove that the crew can make all the difference.

Tonight’s sundae choice was “hot fudge and cherries.” The cherry count was a less than generous two.

Landed in Amsterdam about 10 minutes early on the Polderbaan and after a 20+ minute taxi we were at the terminal. I had to enter the Schengen Area to fly to Germany anyways, so I figured I’d clear immigration and get Starbucks, forgetting that there was now a Starbucks in the departures area. Oh well! Gave me a chance to pass by the excellent airline/airplane memorabilia store:

After Starbucks I went back through security, spent a little time in the lounge, and then it was finally time for my flight to Frankfurt.

Lufthansa flight 989
Amsterdam, Netherlands (AMS) to Frankfurt, Germany (FRA)
Depart 10:50, Arrive 12:00, Flight Time 1:10
Airbus A320, Registration D-AIZS, Manufactured 2013, Seat 12C

Not much to say. Beverage service (had a Coke Light) and a small sandwich offered (which I skipped – sketchy airline sandwiches after the South Pacific just scare me) and we landed about 15 minutes behind schedule in Frankfurt due to late arrival of aircraft.

Of course, I had a hike from the A to B gates in Frankfurt PLUS passport control to contend with. Most of the folks in the queue looked “non-German” so I decided to use my decidedly awful German as an excuse to go past them and telling them I was in a hurry. Figuring they wouldn’t understand…and thinking they’d think I was saying something important…worked and saved me 10 plus minutes…then I got to the gate and…30 minute delay “for operational reasons.” LOL, ugh.

So, went up to the counter, and asked about the possiblility of an upgrade with a United Global Upgrade Cert. I knew the cabin was empty based on seatmap (they had 36 seats, only 4 showing taken on seatmap 15 min before departure) and the agent confirmed this. But here’s where things got really, really weird.

“I am so sorry, this flight is one of a select few flights moved to our new computer system as a pilot and only electronic upgrades are available. We did inform United of this.” So wait, you told United a few pilot flights would be in a new system with new upgrade procedures, and you update them in advance which ones those will be so they can do electronic instead of paper upgrades? I’m not buying this bro. Supervisor please.

Supervisor arrived, shifted from foot to foot uncomfortable, but stuck to the party line that United should have known better. Um, dude, no, I’m not buying it. You really think the communication between Star Alliance computer systems is that seamless? This is the partnership that has relied on paper certificates until 2014. Not. Buying. It. He insisted. So, I went for the Hail Mary.

“Fine, if the computer won’t let you do it with the paper certificate, maybe you can give an operational upgrade for operational reasons.” Nope…”only if the flight is oversold. If I press that button without oversell I can lose my job.” Ah German logic. Ugh. Coach it is for me.

Lufthansa flight 1306
Frankfurt, Germany (FRA) to Beirut, Lebanon (BEY)
Depart 13:05, Arrive 17:55, Flight Time 3:50
Airbus A321, Registration D-AISP, Manufactured 2009, Seat 26C

So, fortunately the middle seat next to me was empty, and I had a few extra inches of legroom thanks to the exit row. So what was worse than business? Well, business was empty so I would have had a whole row. More crew attention, and maybe a slightly better meal. Other than that, this flight wasn’t too bad. Yes, this is an economy meal:

Landed right on time, and made a beeline for immigration, where things got really strange, really fast. Waited about five minutes for an officer, and the exchange went something like this:

Him: “Why are you coming to Lebanon?”

Me: “Tourism”

Him: “How long are you staying?”

Me: “Four Days”

Him: “What will you see?”

Me: “Baalbek, Byblos, Beirut nightlife.”

Him: “Ok, you ever been to Palestine?” I hadn’t expected the question to be so blatant, and certainly wasn’t going to admit I was there three days ago AND came back to the US in between, lol, I don’t think the concept of mileage runs would have played well.

Me: “No I haven’t”

Him: “How about Israel?”

Me: “No, never.”

Him: (looking at me) “I don’t believe you. You have lots of stamps. Who you work for? CIA? Mossad?”

At this point, I pretty much considered soiling myself, lol. Agent left the counter, and escorted me to a side room where I waited for about 20-30 minutes. I started going through my phone deleting photo albums, removing all evidence of travel to Israel, etc. After about 20-30 minutes an agent came in and continued. Same basic questions…why was I here, what was I doing, etc.

Then, we got down to “where do you work.” I showed him business cards, showed him other evidence, offered to show him access to work e-mail on my phone….he seemed annoyed. I got the impression he was annoyed at a trigger-happy initial investigator….he called my hotel to verify I had a reservation…and that was good. He actually apologized for the inconvenience, and told me to enjoy Lebanon.

Two hours later, it was time to leave the airport and start the last leg of the adventure!

Zurich to Washington in United business

Airports, Business Class, Flights, South Pacific Tour 2014, Switzerland 2 Responses »

Dec 232014

Thankfully, and this might be the only time I say this, my room at the Sheraton was nice and warm, because I woke up with a full-blown cold and it felt quite nice cuddled into the comforter. Unfortunately, that made it harder to get going in the morning. I really enjoyed this hotel, and definitely want to go back and spend a bit longer there, especially when not sick.

Walked the 10+ minutes to the train in the freezing cold, sniffling the whole way, and had an effortless trip to the airport. I remember being on the platform and thinking…I want to move here. Things just work so well in Switzerland, and every time I’m there I’m in a good mood. Random thoughts for the day…

Got to the airport, and let’s be honest, important first stop this early in the morning: Starbucks. The one thing I can do flawlessly in German in order Starbucks…but she insisted on speaking English back to me. Silly accents…especially because she clearly wasn’t a native German speaker either. So, I retaliated…in French. It’s an official language after all It was a fun exchange, I got caffeine, and all was right with the world.

Oh, speaking of, I noted down the price…The Economist always publishes their Big Mac index, so I’ve started keeping a “Starbucks Index” since it conveys something slightly difference. McDonalds want’s to be a bit of a commodity while Starbucks’ niche in the market I feel is a bit more of a snob appeal. So that said, a grande drip goes for 5,20 francs at the Zurich airport, or $5.30 at current rates, making it the most expensive place to have Starbucks in the world. If anyone would like to contribute to my research project, feel free to send me the price of a grande drip (tax included) along with location and date. Thanks!

Oh…and I had a chocolate muffin, but we don’t need to talk about that. This was my second one of the week (remember, Frankfurt last week on the way back from the South Pacific) and it’s a horrible holiday influence. Oh, that and Christmas Blend Espresso…but on with the important stuff…I don’t really mean half this blog to be about Starbucks…

Security was a complete non-event and then it was off to the SWISS Senator Lounge. I had a bit of work to do, and full of chocolate muffin and caffeine I’m afraid I can’t discuss the food. Seating was plentiful, finding an outlet was easy, and there was plenty of water to hydrate before flying. For some reason the SWISS Senator Lounge feels so much more peaceful than Lufthansa, where it feels like it’s a giant crowded mess first thing in the morning.

On to the gate…

Upon boarding with my mobile boarding pass, I got the beep beep beep, because apparently I had to re-check-in in Zurich and get asked those oh-so-helpful “did you pack your bag?” “has your bag been with you?” “are there any electronics in it?” questions. I’m sorry, but after Israeli security it felt absolutely ridiculous. These agents (not these in particular, but in European airports in general who screen the US-carrier flights to the US) seem like barely-trained rent-a-cops who couldn’t spot a security risk if it jumped up and screamed it. Anyways….by this point most of the flight had boarded, but fortunately I found space for my admittedly-large carry-ons. On with the show!

United flight 993
Zürich, Switzerland (ZRH) to Newark, New Jersey (EWR)
Depart 10:20, Arrive 13:55, Flight Time 9:35
Boeing 767-300, Registration N642UA, Manufactured 1991, Seat 7H

Enjoying a glass of Jeff Perignon as a pre-departure beverage, it was time to explore what was to eat:

My seatmate was rather chatty, but fortunately he was also rather interesting to chat with and after a few minutes of chatting (and drinking…we got refills) went back to his own business. Took off right on time, and it was time to enjoy the delights of United BusinessFirst. First. Hah. Sorry, moving on…

A glass of Château Haut-Jeffrois and some high class split-nuts:

The garlic bread, as always, made up for any shortcomings. United’s insistence on weird fruit-cream dressings continues, but this passionfruit one was actually kind of interesting. That said, give me a creamy parmesan, or peppercorn, or ranch any time. I’m classy like that.

The appetizer? A tiny piece of salmon and one shrimp? Seriously, I’ve seen better seafood selections in a developing country fish market. Just sad. Normally, I would let this go under the category of “you get what you pay for” since the majority of United business class is often upgrades, but since this was a paid business class fare I’m going to let out the full snark.

The tenderloin of beef. The veggies were ok. The beef…well, I’ve eaten lots of business class beef on united over the years, and I’ve come to expect it medium well or so. This poor beef, however, was beyond salvageable. It literally had to be sawed through with the knife, and even that was a Herculean effort. It was so tough it felt like chewing on cardboard. I have low expectations on airline beef, but often choose it because it sounds better than the chicken….and I refuse to touch fish on planes. I’ve seen Airplane one too many times.

I did the unthinkable on United…and rang the flight attendant call button.

Big mistake. After around five minutes a flight attendant finally came by, and her response: “what do you want?” I tried to be as nice as possible, and said “unfortunately this beef isn’t very good…would it be possible to get one of the other meals if there are any left?” Her response? “No. Everything is gone.” and she walked away. Sensing a battle I couldn’t win I admitted defeat. Fortunately, the flight attendant in the other aisle (these are the benefits of sitting in the middle) was generously refilling wine, so I was able to keep a level head and ignore the issue.

At least there was cheese:

I didn’t dare pull my “if there is any left after everyone has had some” question on the cheese with this crew. I appreciated what I got and left it at that.

Today’s sundae was “caramel with cherries” and the cherry count was four. Another datapoint.

Watched a few hours of tv on the iPad, napped a little, blah blah blah, and soon it was snack time.

Seriously…a half of wrap and some rather sad fruit? The wrap looked so lonely I’m pretty sure the crew stole 1/2 of each one and ate it and only gave the passengers half of a wrap…or something like that. It just looks way too awkward on the plate like that. Throw in the same chocolates that have been sitting on the snack cart the entire flight and you have a classy meal.

Landed about five minutes ahead of schedule, turned on my phone and…flight to DC was canceled. Ok, no biggie, I’m sure there are backup options…pull up United.com to look at my reservation…I’d been rebooked for the next day at 6pm. Over 28 hours later. It was raining lightly at Newark, and of course the reason for cancelation was “weather.” Ugh. There was, fortunately, another flight headed to DCA in 50 minutes, but it was overbooked by four people.

Fortunately no problems with Global Entry, security only had about a five minute wait for pre-check, and I made a beeline for the United Club to get added to the standby list. The agent was super efficient and helpful, but of course with my luck, the flight was departing from Terminal A. Ran for the shuttle bus, fortunately little wait, and got to the gate right as boarding was starting.

After everyone appeared to have boarded, I very nicely asked the agent how many were boarded and if there was a chance I might make it. “Just wait and you’ll find out.” Um, ok. I seriously will never understand why when it takes no extra effort to be kind and helpful to someone some people make it their mission to be rude and nasty. Ugh. I was the only one on standby, so it shouldn’t have been a big deal.

Five minutes before departure time it was obvious there were missed connections, and she cleared me into a window seat. I asked if there were other open seats. “Be happy you’re on the flight.” and that was it. The takeaway I’d give United is…top elite passenger on a paid business class fare, you cancel their flight, and then an agent tells them they should just be happy to be downgraded and be on the flight. What sort of impression do you think that leaves with your customers?

I should know better…

United flight 5677, operated by ExpressJet
Newark, New Jersey (EWR) to Washington DC, National (DCA)
Depart 14:55, Arrive 16:06, Flight Time 1:11
Embraer ERJ-145, Registration N14570, Manufactured 2002, Seat 4D

Nothing to say about this flight. No drink service “due to the length of the flight” but at least I got to DC the same day instead of with a 24 hour delay. That shouldn’t be something to be happy for all things considered, but at this point it was.

The takeaway for me is – I’ve become the type of customer United seems to want. Paid business fares, not even using up all the upgrades I earn, requalifying on dollars basis…yet, they treat me poorly. It makes me reevaluate why I bother. The simple reason is, I live in the US, and still do a small to medium amount of domestic travel. If I joined another Star Alliance program, I’d get even fewer benefits, and zero transatlantic upgrades if I chose to use them. The service on United may be poor much of the time, but living in their hub at least I have options when things go wrong. As a non-elite I can pretty much guarantee I would have been screwed in Newark another 24 hours.

So, for now, I’ll continue to settle…and be happy in an abusive relationship.

Frankfurt to Washington, Dulles in United First

First Class, Flights, South Pacific Tour 2014 1 Response »

Dec 102014

Got an early start, grabbed some Starbucks at Frankfurt Hauptbanhof, and then headed in to the airport on the S-Bahn for my final flight of the South Pacific part of this trip. I already had my mobile boarding pass, so headed straight to security and the Lufthansa Senator Lounge. I still think it’s shameful that United can only get you an invite to the same lounge its business class passengers use at the hub of its closest partner. Oh well, a delicious german beer and pretzel for a late breakfast and all was nearly forgiven:

The usual pre-boarding security theatre for flights to the States, consisting of some mall security asking you a bunch of silly scripted questions that anyone with 1/100 of a brain isn’t going to get wrong. One of these days we’ll start taking genuinely meaningful security measures that actually have a chance of keeping flights safer…

United flight 988
Frankfurt, Germany (FRA) to Washington/Dulles, Virginia, USA (IAD)
Depart 11:25, Arrive 14:35, Flight Time 9:10
Boeing 777-200, Registration N227UA, Manufactured 2001, Seat 1K

After Asiana and ANA, I knew United was going to disappoint me, even in Global First. I’ve flown the product dozens of times before so I knew what to expect: a comfortable seat, TGI Fridays quality food, and wines I could generally buy for $10 a bottle. The thinking is that nobody actually pays for United first, it’s mostly either upgrades from business, award tickets, or employees, so there’s little incentive to invest in the product. It’s really a question of chicken and egg, however. If they don’t invest, people won’t buy it, and if people don’t buy it it’s hard to justify investing.

Ok, enough of the soapbox. I was offered a glass of “champagne” pre-departure, and today’s choice was a lovely non-vintage Veuve Smisek:

So, what’s to eat?

A wine list so steeped in tradition, from the finest terroirs of the old and new world. The actual wines are so outstanding, they have to be kept secret so the competition doesn’t steal United’s palate-delighting ideas:

…but never fear, you get an amenity kit, not one but <strong>two</strong> pillows, <strong>AND</strong> noise-cancelling headphones. You know, because serious airlines don’t offer any of these things in business class much less first class!

Up in the air, I decided to switch away from the champagne since I’d been sufficiently tempted by the wine list. Today’s secret wine was a lovely Château le Jeff 2014 which had subtle undertones of burnt leaves and oak with a refreshing rotting pumpkin that lingered on the palate:

…but hey, garlic bread. That makes up for a lot of shortcomings in my book. Mmmm….

Then this happened. Really. That’s an appetizer. Two little skewered pieces of chicken breast with a little couscous. Wow. I literally can’t even.

The zucchini and parmesan soup, however, was surprisingly tasty:

…as was the salad. Surprisingly good. They really could invest in higher-quality croutons, however, and please…get rid of those strange dressings United is oh so fond of serving. I think today’s was Creamy Guava Delight, or something similarly corny. Maybe it was Tantalizing Passionfruit…I’ve forgotten. Either way it was mildly creamy, had citrus fruit undertones, and was just plain strange.

The beef. Not good. Not good at all. Somewhere between well done and shoe leather. The sauce made it salvageable, and the few pieces of defrosted microwave broccoli and carrots really made the dish!

The cheese. Mmmm. I asked for seconds. I was told no. I saw the crew eating cheese and crackers later in the flight. #FAIL. Really too bad, because the cheese was actually quite good, and likely the best part of the meal.

…and to finish things off…the sundae. I sometimes get caramel, sometimes hot fudge, always with “cherries.” Today I decided to go wild and have both, still with cherries. It’s always fun watching United crews interpret “cherries.” It’s been as little as one, and as many as 15 or so. Today, it was three:

Finished off dinner with a glass of the Late Harvest Changes You’ll Like Cellars Icewine, which was divine. Or maybe it was amaretto on the rocks. I get the two confused sometimes….

After dinner I napped a couple hours, watched some tv on the iPad, and soon enough we were about 90 minutes out and it was time for the pre-arrival snack. Now, don’t get your hopes up here.

It’s fruit. The same fruit the serve in business class. A box of two chocolates…the same two chocolates they serve in business class. And a sandwich…which is decent. Not amazing, but at least it’s decent.

So, overall summary: the crew was friendly and efficient, even if they did lie about having extra cheese. The seat is nice, reasonably private, and comfortable sleeping. The food and beverage? Well, they’re something ANA and Asiana would be embarrassed to serve in business class not to mention first. But again, it’s understandable why United does what it does.

With that said, quick trip through immigration and security, and it was off to the condo to spend a whole 72 hours in DC (after five weeks away) before packing up again and heading to Israel and Palestine for Thanksgiving!

Tokyo to Singapore in United First, and Singapore Transit Hotel and lounges

Airports, Flights, Japan, Singapore, South Pacific Tour 2014 No Responses »

Oct 272014

Headed down to the gate, and boarding was just starting as I got there. As usual, United was being super classy and all of “Group 1” was being invited to board at the same time. 1Ks, business class, first class, doesn’t matter. All lumped together. Not even a priority announcement for Global Services. We’re clearly not on ANA anymore!

United flight 803
Tokyo, Narita (NRT) to Singapore (SIN)
Depart 18:00, Arrive 00:10, Flight Time 7:10
Boeing 777-200, Registration N788UA, Manufactured 1997, Seat 2K

Welcome aboard…can I get you a glass of Krug? Oh, wait…I mean a glass of Veuve Smisek. Mmm…delicious!

Wait, where’s the caviar service?!

Quality construction. I went to put my feet on the footrest, and it fell off.

Takeoff was on-time, and in fairness the crew was very pleasant and efficient, I will say in general despite Jeff’s best efforts to the contrary, the hard product is pretty decent (not good, or great, but decent) and the crews are almost always very good.

There were two choices of red wine today, and I went with a glass of the Changes-You’ll-Like Shiraz. It was perfectly drinkable, and would make a reasonable $10-15 table wine for every day drinking. Certainly not international first class quality, but…

Vegas to DC and AmEx Centurion Lounge Las Vegas

Airports, Flights, Hawaii-France-Andorra-Vegas No Responses »

Oct 042014

Tame last night in Vegas, and after dinner ended up sitting around having a few drinks. Was watching some tv and texting on my phone and…

…and next thing I knew it was 5 minutes before I’d planned to leave the hotel in the morning. Ugh, I’d fallen asleep texting/watching tv…and my phone was completely dead so the alarm never went off. I’d never done that before. Quick shower, packing, and was out the door about 15 minutes later than planned. No big emergency, but incredibly lucky I woke up when I did. I guess all the time zone changing and tiredness finally caught up to me and the body just crashed.

Made it to the airport in plenty of time, there was no line at security, and soon I found the AmEx Centurion lounge. The agent asked me how I’d liked the LaGuardia Lounge (impressive CRM – and good database) and offered to show us around if we needed anything. I just wanted breakfast at this point.

Some tasty pancakes and fruit, along with a poached egg in tomato basil sauce which was delicious. Oh, and a glass of Veuve. Won’t want to go cold turkey and risk getting the shakes or something! One nice thing the Centurion lounges do for Centurion card holders is offer a special drink at each lounge. At both LaGuardia and Vegas it’s Veuve or a glass of Johnny Walker Blue. I figured 8a was ok for champagne, but later in the day it would be a hard choice….

Originally, I had ticketed Vegas-Houston-Chicago-DCA because I was afraid I might be short on qualifying miles this year. But at this point, I was exhausted…and there was one seat on the Houston-DC nonstop in P class so I called United to try and make a same day confirmed change. After being on hold 15 minutes, the agent had no clue how to do it, and pulled the “it’s under airport control” excuse. Ugh.

United Airlines flight 1236
Las Vegas, Nevada (LAS) to Houston, Jorge Bush Intercontinental (IAH)
Depart 9:32, Arrive 14:34, Flight Time 3:02
Boeing 737-900, Registration N47414, Manufactured 2008, Seat 2E

Not terribly much to say on this flight. I wasn’t very hungry after the lounge, but took the breakfast for photo purposes. Ok, I actually ate the fruit and greek yogurt and a couple bites of the egg, but that was all. I’d had way way too much United food on this trip, and was rather over it. The other option was the usual cereal and banana, which today was raisin bran.

Landed in Houston a few minutes ahead of schedule, checked ExpertFlyer, and there was still one P seat on the nonstop to DC, so I tried to use the app to change it…and it worked! Yes, United technology succeeded where an actual agent couldn’t…go figure! I’d get home nearly four hours sooner, which was sounding absolutely fantastic at this point!

I stopped at Le Grand Comptoir to wait for my flight, and had a couple of glasses of prosecco while waiting:

Not only had I gotten on the earlier flight, but I had an aisle seat in row 2 – my preferred seat. Clearly it was my lucky day!

United Airlines flight 292
Houston, Jorge Bush Intercontinental (IAH) to Washington, DC, National (DCA)
Depart 16:37, Arrive 20:18, Flight Time 2:41
Airbus A319, Registration N846UA, Manufactured 2001, Seat 2E

One last class of Domaine Ste Jeff and one last bowl of discount warm nuts:

Today’s lunch was some sort of sandwich on pretzel bread, bread on no plate, and scary halloween colored soup:

Chatted with my seatmate a bit, who was a flyertalker coming back from Singapore (or was it Bangkok?) and was a fan of my trip reports. Made the flight fly by, and soon landed at DCA ahead of schedule. A very busy, very packed, very successful trip down in the books.

So, was it worth it? Absolutely! Although I would have liked to have more time in Paris, Barcelona, Andorra, and Hawaii, it was a great trip. I had lots of really cool experiences, saw lots of new things, managed to visit a new country, and had a great time driving through the mountains. The trip made for some fantastic stories, and I’d love to do something similar again…but not any time too soon!

Honolulu – San Francisco – Las Vegas, review of Aria Hotel, Las Vegas

Airports, Flights, Hawaii-France-Andorra-Vegas 1 Response »

Sep 272014

I woke up early. Way too early. I somehow managed a shower and managed to cram things into my bag. I found the elevator. I tried to speak French to the check out people. “Aloha, j’voudrais faire le chcekout.” Um, non. Coffee. Stat. Medical need.

Hawaii Coffee Company was closed. I mean, yeah, it is 4:30am, but does the Geneva Convention on torture not apply here? They are denying treatment to someone with a serious medical condition. I’m calling Obama!

Quick…and chatty…taxi to the airport. Great thing about 4am is it’s 10am in DC, and friends back home were pinging me to make sure I was still alive and functional, and about to appear in Vegas for a bachelor party. Oh that. Yes, because I hadn’t put my body through enough in the last 5-6 days. There’s a bachelor party to do.

Got to HNL, Pre Check was closed, but went through the elite line with a special pass that meant I didn’t have to take shoes off or take laptop out, so colour me a happy camper. Less than 5 minutes from taxi through security – can’t beat the aloha. DO YOU HEAR THAT DULLES? HUH?!

Went to Starbucks in search of emergency supplies…and there was a line. A very long line. Filled with what appeared to be half of America’s armed forces. I’ve never minded a line so little.. I bought coffee. I supported the troops. Yeah…moving on…

Got to the gate, and it was time to board!

United Airlines flight 72
Honolulu, Hawaii (HNL) to San Francisco, California (SFO)
Depart 6:28, Arrive 14:32, Flight Time 5:04
Boeing 767-400ER, Registration N76054, Manufactured 2000, Seat 1D

Nothing like a glass of bubbly Jeff…I mean, it’s grape juice…to wake you up!

So what was for breakfast? Well, there was fruit, which was decent and semi-fresh. There was grape juice with bubbles, which was also pretty good. The carb roll was good for 2 bites as usual until I felt the need for an emergency dental appointment. Then, the main. The seasoned hockey puck, I mean sausage, was a total no-go as usual. The potatoes…well I’m not sure what’s in them…it could be crack or heroin, but I inhaled them. The eggs? Flavourless as usual, but I kept telling myself they might contain large amounts of protein, so forced them down. The tomato…well, I ate it because it was colour. The mean was far too tan and yellow without it.

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